This weeks Sunday Scribblings prompt: #148 -- Regrets
Got any? Things you wish you'd done differently? Things you wish you'd said or not said? Things you want to be sure to do and say now so that you don't end up with regrets?
Regrets. I have too many to mention. Don't we all? I think the most important thing about regret is to learn from it.
Years ago I had a young friend, a cousin. We enjoyed talking about movies and music. Her older sister was married and my younger sister was dating, so we began to hang out together. She was such a kindred heart to mine.
One Wednesday evening, she had dropped by my place for a visit. We shared coffee, made plans to see a movie, listened to record albums, talked about our dreams, and laughed...
As she left my house, and disappeared from view, I had the strangest urge to run after her and give her a hug. I was not a hugger! So I called out, "Where are you going?" She answered, "My car is parked on the side street. I'll see you Friday night!" "Okay," I replied, "See you then." I went back inside trying to shake that strange impulse.
Friday afternoon her life was taken from her. How I wanted that moment back! Just to hug her and tell her what she had meant to me. Such devastating, painful regret! I had never felt anything like it.
In the days and weeks that followed it ate away at me. Then I made a decision... I would not let a day go by without letting the people I loved, know that I loved them. This was very hard for me. I had learned to protect myself by keeping many things inside.
Over time, I became a different person. It became easier to set my insecurities aside and be more giving. I learned to reach out with a hug, a handshake, a smile. This wasn't easy and still isn't some days. I tend to want to withdraw into myself. I learned a hard lesson in one devastating moment of regret, and it has stayed with me.
I like to think, that somehow, she knows she touched my life with her sweet spirit and her laughter.
Copyright January 2009 - ajj