Monday, January 31, 2011

Sunday Scribblings #252 - Safe

Go to Sunday Scribblings to see what other people wrote on this weeks prompt, Safe.

 
The house is too quiet.  She walks from room to room, turning on lights, checking the door and window locks.  Outside is silence.  Eerie silence.  No cars, no sounds at all.  She looks through the peephole, but nothing is there.  The fear is thick, like fog.  She turns on the radio, thinking the sound will help drive away these feelings.  It doesn't, so she shuts it off preferring the silence.

The evening passes so slowly.  Then, in the distance, she hears the familiar drone of the truck.  It makes it's way up the dirt road until it reaches the barn.  Voices laughing, filter to her ears through the darkness.  The key turns in the lock.  "Hey baby, we're home!  How was it on your own tonight?"  She runs into her parents waiting arms, "Just fine momma, just fine."  And in her heart, she feels safe once again.



© 31JAN11 ajj

8 comments:

oldegg said...

There is always a feeling of unease when children are left "home alone".

However the thought of really young kids being scared out of their wits while the parent(s) enjoy themselves is horrifying.

Well your piece certainly upset me, as I am sure you would have expected.
You have succeeded in making your point.

Sally said...

Wow, Nita Jo, I was expecting this to be about a woman home alone, not a child. Beautifully written.

Grandma Yellow Hair said...

Glad Donna is hosting this Memory Lane Mondays because it brought me to your site this morning.
Your story about Safe had me wanting more.
Looking forward to getting to know you
Maggie

Nita Jo said...

Thanks all! The girl I see is about 14, but not used to being home alone, and still very close to her parents. I called my mom, "mama" into my teens... till she requested me to call her Mom or Mother. That was hard, because she'd always been "mama" to me.

The story isn't about me, but definitely draws on what I remember about being home alone. In fact, I still like knowing someone else is in the house! Lol!

I am happy it brought the desired result... just a bit scary.

Wendy said...

To be a "big boy" or "big girl," it seems there are these rite of passage actions one must complete. And staying home alone is one of them. it can be terrifying yet also is a marker of growth and independence.

Old Altonian said...

It doesn't matter whether you are a boy or a girl, you tend to do the same things when left home alone. I know I did when I was a 'nipper'. That's a bitter/sweet little tale.

Leo said...

being alone, its no easy thing.. I thought ur story as I read was about a woman.. not a young girl..very beautiful Nita..

mine is here:
<a href="http://leonnyes.wordpress.com/2011/02/02/little-dreamer/>http://leonnyes.wordpress.com/2011/02/02/little-dreamer/</a>

Nita Jo said...

Wow, I really appreciate all the comments. It's nice when a piece speaks to other writers. I've visited most of your blogs. I'm not great at always leaving comments. Sometimes I worry it will just sound trite.

Also, I'm sharing a PC with my husband, and my son, since mine died a few months back. Hopefully, I'll have my own again very soon! Thank you all for stopping by!