My 5K Walk...

I signed up for a 5K Walk, which was very optimistic of me, since I have barely been able to walk down the hallway in my home. I haven't even been walking to the mailbox, because I've been so weak and off-balance. This 5K was important to me though. It was to raise money for the NOCC, National Ovarian Cancer Commission, and I walked in memory of my mom and my niece. They were both taken from this life much too soon, mom at 65 and Lizzy at 17!

I was in the Virtual Walker category, since the actual walk was in Arlington, Texas, so I walked on my treadmill. I broke the walk into 5 parts, and the final leg was 22 minutes. It took me 108.51 minutes to walk a 5K, broken into those 5 parts over a 6 hour period. A 5K walk would have been a breeze a few years ago, but age and MS have changed many things I once did easily. Even so, sometimes it's important to push our boundaries. To challenge our limitations. I was completely prepared to accept it, if I was only able to walk a quarter mile or less. One important thing I've learned, during the past 14 years of living with Multiple Sclerosis, is to recognize when you've reached your limit. That's why I had to break the walk into parts. Each time I stopped, I didn't know if I'd be able to get back on the treadmill. I rested, drank lots of water, and began again.

I'm proud of raising money for this cause. I'm proud of pushing myself and making it to that virtual finish line. As I walked, I imagined mom and Lizzy cheering me on. I imagined a world where no one else would have to lose a mother, a daughter, a grandmother, a granddaughter, a sister, a wife, an aunt, or a niece to this deadly disease.

Thoughts...

After a fun day with my family, it's been such a strange evening. Too many serious thoughts invading my happy space. It started out with sorting through some old magazines I'd saved. Then it dawned on me, many were from the summer of 2000, which was a rough one for my family. They hadn't even been read, I'd just saved them, because I was determined to make a time to enjoy them some day and forget about all the sad which happened that year.

It's now fourteen years later, and I discover them tucked away on a shelf in my linen closet. I started flipping through them, and I did rediscover the joy of who I had been at the time. Some were for landscaping my back yard, and tucked in between was the master plan I'd drawn up. Some had craft projects I'd been in love with and was going to make. Many were Christmas items to get done in the summertime, well before they are needed for home or for sale.

It was a lot of fun, until I started hearing those little nagging voices pointing out all I had not accomplished. I almost let those voices win. Then I reminded myself of what we'd all gone through, and how we pushed forward one step at a time, overcoming each sorrow and each obstacle.

Life happens, bringing sorrows as well as joy. What ultimately should define us, is what we made of it; what we did accomplish, not what we did not do. Now I've got all those "feelings" off my mind, I'm going to take another look at an old issue of Victoria magazine and allow myself to really enjoy it!