The touch of a hand, a smile, a hug... sometimes that's all it takes to turn the day around. A few days ago, I forced myself to go visit Grandma Martha. I hadn't been feeling well. I was so tired, but I could not shake the small voice that said "go"; I pulled myself together, combed my hair, and headed out.
When I arrived, I had to wait. They'd changed the security code. I finally made my way over to the dining area. Scanning the faces of the ladies, I didn't see her at first, then she raised her hand in a wave. On her face was a huge smile. As I came closer, Grandma raised both arms into the air for a hug. It was all I could do not to weep. She looked so small, sitting in her wheelchair with upraised arms. I bent down, and she pulled me in close and held on so tight. It was a long, healing embrace. I sailed back to my childhood, to the safety I always felt in Grandma's arms; I hope I brought her that same feeling of safety, of love. I owe her so much, this once powerful woman of God. She taught me to pray; she taught me to sing; she showed me how powerful faith could be; she lay beside me on my bed, praying for healing, when I was near death.
How do I say "thank you" when she doesn't remember all she's done; when the memories of her life are confused and clouded over? How can I make up for all that I left unsaid? It has to be in the small things; the hugs, the holding of her hands, giving love and comfort. She no longer appreciates the grand gestures, the expensive gifts. Now it's all about what the heart can appreciate. Even when the mind isn't clear, the body, the soul, and the spirit can be touched with the healing love of an embrace.
As I left that day, I turned at the door to wave. She was smiling and waving just as I knew she would be. My drive home was much more joyful than the drive there had been. My heart had been touched with the healing power of a smile and a hug.
copyright 08/29/2009 ajj
Showing posts with label hugs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hugs. Show all posts
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Sunday Scribblings - Regrets
This weeks Sunday Scribblings prompt: #148 -- Regrets
Got any? Things you wish you'd done differently? Things you wish you'd said or not said? Things you want to be sure to do and say now so that you don't end up with regrets?
Regrets. I have too many to mention. Don't we all? I think the most important thing about regret is to learn from it.
Years ago I had a young friend, a cousin. We enjoyed talking about movies and music. Her older sister was married and my younger sister was dating, so we began to hang out together. She was such a kindred heart to mine.
One Wednesday evening, she had dropped by my place for a visit. We shared coffee, made plans to see a movie, listened to record albums, talked about our dreams, and laughed...
As she left my house, and disappeared from view, I had the strangest urge to run after her and give her a hug. I was not a hugger! So I called out, "Where are you going?" She answered, "My car is parked on the side street. I'll see you Friday night!" "Okay," I replied, "See you then." I went back inside trying to shake that strange impulse.
Friday afternoon her life was taken from her. How I wanted that moment back! Just to hug her and tell her what she had meant to me. Such devastating, painful regret! I had never felt anything like it.
In the days and weeks that followed it ate away at me. Then I made a decision... I would not let a day go by without letting the people I loved, know that I loved them. This was very hard for me. I had learned to protect myself by keeping many things inside.
Over time, I became a different person. It became easier to set my insecurities aside and be more giving. I learned to reach out with a hug, a handshake, a smile. This wasn't easy and still isn't some days. I tend to want to withdraw into myself. I learned a hard lesson in one devastating moment of regret, and it has stayed with me.
I like to think, that somehow, she knows she touched my life with her sweet spirit and her laughter.
Copyright January 2009 - ajj
Got any? Things you wish you'd done differently? Things you wish you'd said or not said? Things you want to be sure to do and say now so that you don't end up with regrets?
Regrets. I have too many to mention. Don't we all? I think the most important thing about regret is to learn from it.
Years ago I had a young friend, a cousin. We enjoyed talking about movies and music. Her older sister was married and my younger sister was dating, so we began to hang out together. She was such a kindred heart to mine.
One Wednesday evening, she had dropped by my place for a visit. We shared coffee, made plans to see a movie, listened to record albums, talked about our dreams, and laughed...
As she left my house, and disappeared from view, I had the strangest urge to run after her and give her a hug. I was not a hugger! So I called out, "Where are you going?" She answered, "My car is parked on the side street. I'll see you Friday night!" "Okay," I replied, "See you then." I went back inside trying to shake that strange impulse.
Friday afternoon her life was taken from her. How I wanted that moment back! Just to hug her and tell her what she had meant to me. Such devastating, painful regret! I had never felt anything like it.
In the days and weeks that followed it ate away at me. Then I made a decision... I would not let a day go by without letting the people I loved, know that I loved them. This was very hard for me. I had learned to protect myself by keeping many things inside.
Over time, I became a different person. It became easier to set my insecurities aside and be more giving. I learned to reach out with a hug, a handshake, a smile. This wasn't easy and still isn't some days. I tend to want to withdraw into myself. I learned a hard lesson in one devastating moment of regret, and it has stayed with me.
I like to think, that somehow, she knows she touched my life with her sweet spirit and her laughter.
Copyright January 2009 - ajj
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