On the 16th of April, my 49 year old cousin, Kristin, passed away in her sleep. It was shocking. It was too soon. It was heartbreaking. At the memorial service, her little brother looked at me and said something to the effect of "Last time we were together, we promised next time would be for something fun, but here we are..." The most recent event, where many of the cousins had seen each other, was at grandma's memorial service in 2010. Every one of us intended to make more time for one another, but life has a way of interfering with the best of intentions.
It was both wonderful and agonizing to see so many family members. We shared a lot of tears. We shared some moments of joy. Memories permeated the room like strong incense, pleasing yet making it difficult to breath. I'm still finding it hard to breath, as I write this. Oh, for one more moment to chat with Kristin. To see that smile and hear her laughter. I have to be satisfied with knowing she is in the arms of a Heavenly Father, and is with so many who love her, who made the journey before she did. And there is some peace in it, but the peace doesn't erase the wish in my heart, that I had made even a small window of time for one more conversation shared over cup of tea, to have created a moment spent together, however brief. It's the regret of an unmade memory.
|Grandma Martha and Kristin...|
© 05May2014 ajj