Refresh, Dream, Imagine

Those are just some of the words on a vision board I created. It was a recent project for one of the Grow Me A Story assignments. I had so much fun creating it. One afternoon, while listening to a Hallmark Mystery, I took a stack of 10 magazines and tore out images that spoke to me. The next afternoon, as a Creative Rendevous, I found Carole King's complete Tapestry album on YouTube and listened to it while creating my vision board. I clipped, trimmed, arranged, and glued, keeping the best and discarding a few. It was a wonderful way to spend some creative time for myself. It also made me think about how I see myself, what my dreams and goals are, and where I plan to go from here.

Missing from the vision board are images directly relating to writing or publishing. Part of this process is discovering where I want to go with that particular dream, or if I still wish to pursue it. Life brings a lot of changes, redirection, paths we didn't plan on taking, and once in a while it brings us back to an old dream. I am definitely exploring who I could be as a writer.

What is reflected on the vision board is my desire for an organized, comfortable home; a focus on healthy eating and good health, which hopefully means I will be able to drive again this year; words to spark my creative self, like imagine and dream; finding my bliss, my joy in living; integrating more fun into my life by returning to things I love like going to tag sales and listening to music; the squares of blue symbolize my color for this year and the blue yarn is a nod to the two short stories I wrote for the class; Cyndi Lauper and Nina Garcia symbolize my love for fashion, design, independence, and creativity. That is a brief explanation of my vision board, which you can see below, though much of it goes deeper. Something to explore on another day perhaps.

2022 Vision Board

I do intend to be writing more faithfully on this blog, and I am excited to see where this year takes me! 

© 02MAR2022 ajjahner

Feelings...

I don't even know what I want to write about. My mind is so wrapped up in things I must do, I'm not finding time for things I dream of doing. While I sit here typing, I'm listening to an episode of The Voice from a few nights ago. There are some amazing singers this season. They're singing some of my old favorites, opening up emotions I haven't felt in a long while.

There's nothing like music to take you swiftly back in time. It's 1977. I can almost feel the hot summer air, smell the fresh cut grass and the fading roses. Life seemed like it stretched before me in a beautiful, endless road. While the road looks different to me, all these years later, it's still filled with beauty.


© 13Apr2016 ajj

Writing Again...

Over two years ago, I decided to give up on my writing dreams. Life just seemed so complicated. I didn't have the energy to invest. I have an odd assortment of short stories and the beginnings of a couple of books. One in particular, was close to my heart, but somehow it seemed to slip away from me.

The past few weeks, I've had a renewed urge to write. I've dabbled a bit more on this neglected blog. I've revamped the files on my computer, placing the writing folders in a more orderly set up. Everything but actually sitting down and writing, until today.

For the past couple weeks, I've been haunted day and night with old story ideas and a few new ones. My dreams have been full of people I've never met and crazy stories that are begging to be told. After another night of restless dreams, I got up today and began by reading through the chapters I'd written. The spark was still there. I did a bit of editing and refining, and then it was time to start typing. I'll admit, I didn't get more than a few hundred words, but it felt so right to be working on it again!

I love writing! I love stories! Whether I am ever published, is not the question. The question is, why haven't I been doing what I love? Life is just too short too set aside the things we love, the things we are meant to do. So, I will keep writing! I'll try to keep you updated on my progress, as well as sharing a few thoughts and stories with you once in a while.

Leaving you with this thought... Find your dream and follow it!

© 12NOV2015 ajj

Live Well...

I am overwhelmed with emotions today.  It's snowing on this first day of spring.  My heart is still sad over the loss of my father-in-law, and all that we will never get to share with him.  We were waiting to have a graduation celebration, for my youngest, until spring.  He received his High School Diploma last autumn, but we wanted the weather to be nice so his grandpa might be able to come.

My father-in-law always wanted his grandsons to go to college.  My youngest received confirmation he was accepted into college two days after his grandpa's passing.  My oldest son had decided to return to college in the fall and was working on the paperwork.  We never got the chance to share any of this with their grandpa.  He would be so proud.

When loss comes, there are always things left unsaid, undone.  We move through the stages of loss and acceptance, and ultimately realize it wouldn't matter when the loss occurred.  We will always have more we wanted to share with those we loved.

The best tribute we can give is to live our lives fully, completely.  Just get out there.  Accomplish our dreams.  Live well.  Appreciate life, and love every day we are given.

 © 20MAR2012 aj

Real Life or Dreams...

I haven't been using the NaBloPoMo daily prompts this week.  I just didn't have the time, or the focus, to keep at it.  I decided to go back and try a couple that I'd missed.  Today I've chosen the prompt for Thursday.  Would you rather have a video copy of your dreams or a datebook that contains the events of every day of your life?

This is a difficult choice.  I find my memory is not what it used to be, so the idea of a datebook filled with all the events of my life is a tempting one.  Family, holidays, friends, so many wonderful things, but to be honest, a whole lot of boring.  Day after day, getting up, getting dressed, going to school, to work, wherever, doing dishes or laundry, filling the car with gas, balancing the checkbook.  You see where this is going. 

My dreams, on the other hand, have been filled with adventure, premonitions, family, friends, strangers.  I've traveled to unknown cities, and I've been in the mountains.  Swam underwater, something I'd never do in real life.  Faced monsters and fears, been in terrible accidents, been killed, but lived to tell about it, because it was a dream.  I generally dream in full technicolor, though a couple of times in black and white when I was young. 

For me, the choice is easy.  I'd choose the video of my dreams.  That would provide hours of entertainment and adventure, and I'd love to see those forgotten details.  You know, the ones you can't quite remember when you wake up, no matter how hard you try.  Yes, for me, it's the dreams!

© 10MAR2012 aj

Seeing The Good In Things...

My son sent me a photo from his cell phone this afternoon.  It was the double-wide trailer that my mom lived in for a time.  Memories washed over me as I looked at the photo.  It was a pretty decent place when she moved in, but by the time she sold it what a different home it was. 

Mom had a way with making something out of nothing.  She painted inside and out, changed out the curtains, wallpapered, had a skylight put in, and more.  She loved Victorian, vintage 40's & 50's, and county style, and she had a unique blend of all the things she loved.  Mom reused and re-purposed before it was fashionable.  It was her way of life.  I can't count the times she pulled the car over for a yard sale, a "good" chair someone had put out with the trash, or one of the many secondhand stores in the area.  She could see potential in things. 

Her eye for "good" wasn't limited to things.  She saw potential in people.  If you had a dream, she was your biggest cheerleader.  Over the years, I watched as she supported people, encouraging them to push for what they wanted.  Mom believed that dreams could, and would come true.  I try to always remember that, and to do the same.  See the good in people, and believe in dreams!

Sunday Scribblings #268 - Better Late Than Never

My head is dancing in circles
It's spinning with dreams, thoughts
What could have been
What should have been
Where did days go
How many remain
Will I ever get where I am going
Where my dreams wanted to take me
Is there still time
I hope there's time

© 5Jun2011 ajj



Today's prompt is below.  I'm trying to get caught up.  Ironically, that fits with this prompt!

Sunday Scribblings... Progress

This is my January 2nd Sunday Scribblings submission.  The prompt was Progress... it's progress for me to have actually written again.  To read my older submissions go to My Sunday Scribblings. 


Progress.  Stepping forward, no steps back.  Or is it just arriving a bit further ahead from where you originally began.  If it's the second, I am making progress.  In my home, in my health, in my soul. I evolve a bit more each day in my heart and my spirit.  The one regret... my writing has been neglected... very little progress there.  Nothing for publication, not much for sharing, but it began long ago in pain...

Rivers are so cold
Rushing swiftly, leaving me
They are like people

That is one version of my ninth grade English assignment.  It came from my heart, my hurt.  My teacher loved it.  She liked all my writing.  She told me I should go to college and focus on it.  I didn't go.  I didn't really believe her, even though I wanted to.  Life just kept drifting by.  Now, it's 38 years later.  I still feel that 16 year old girl sometimes, late in the night.  Her hopes and her dreams, her pain and her fears.  I feel her, but there has been progress.  I no longer hold to pain tightly.  People still hurt me, and life isn't always pretty, but I've learned how to face it.  I grasp it in my hands, lift it to the sky, and release. 



copyright January 14, 2011 ajj

Where Did Autumn Go?

Another day slated to be in the 90's... I miss the lovely autumn weather we were having.  It's too warm for me, but this is Idaho so I am confident that in a day or so we'll have another change.

I have rediscovered Maura O'Connell... such a beautiful singer.  I love the Irish folk music the most.  Folk music has a way of describing what's happening in the soul, singing of trouble without leaving you feeling down.  Songs of the people.  Telling tales of hardship and of overcoming.  Sometimes I feel my life is a folk song... trials come, sadness, but I am not one to be keep under the foot of trouble.   If you're under water... keep holding your breath, kicking your feet till you surface into the sunlight again.  Don't give in to the voice that says "just inhale the water and let go of life"... silence the voices with the spirit of a survivor.  Call upon the Lord... your constant help in every situation.  There is no loss that can destroy you, if you refuse to be destroyed.  No evil can take your dreams away if you stand firm and deny it's right to bring you down.  Stand strong... live your life, the life you want, the life you choose.

Okay... I'm getting off my little soapbox.  Here's a bit of Maura singing Trouble In The Fields!  The link will take you to YouTube to listen to it.  Be sure to pause my Playlist so you're not hearing two songs at once...

Lucky the Dog...

I just wept through a story of a woman and her dog, Lucky.  It was posted by Diane of Vintage Tickled Pink.  I think it will touch you even if you are not a "dog person"...  To read it, go here:

Vintage Tickled Pink

I have a busy afternoon, so I will leave you with this quote:  

There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, 'Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams.' Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, 'How good or how bad am I?' That's where courage comes in...     
~ Erma Louise Bombeck

Nobody-but-yourself...

To be nobody-but-yourself --
in a world which is doing its best,
night and day, to make you everybody else --
means to fight the hardest battle
which any human being can fight;
and never stop fighting.
~E.E.Cummings

I found this quote on a friend's facebook page. I'd always loved the poetry of E.E. Cummings, but I hadn't read any in a long, long time. This quote spoke to me tonight. I've been thinking about how hard it can be, just to be.

In my early years, I tried to fit the mold that was expected of me. Most of the time failing miserably, but I kept on trying. I set my dreams aside in deference to others. I failed to be my own advocate. I failed to follow my heart.

It took time, and life experience, to allow myself the freedom of being me. It didn't happen all at once. The walls I built, according to others specifications, took time to remodel. Some of them had to be torn completely down and started again at the foundation.

I am more "me" today than I have ever been. I'm more at peace, less affected by others low opinions. Maybe this is the gift that comes with age. Maybe I couldn't have pursued certain dreams at any other moment in my life. All I do know is that I am content. I see the good and the bad. I still experience tough days, but I am full of joy. I appreciate each day I have on this earth.

All 13 Gone...

At noon today I peeked at our Mama Duck. She was quietly sitting on her nest. Lucky 13 came home from school about 3:35, so I wandered out front. There was nothing to see but broken eggshells and no sign of our little duck family. There were cars in and out all afternoon for yard sales. Even the neighbors across the street, who were doing yard work, did not see them go. I'm a bit afraid something (snake, dog, cat, magpie!!!) got to them. A snake took a couple last year.

PJ stopped by the canal where all the ducks and ducklings went last spring, but there were none anywhere in sight.

I'm so disappointed not to get even one picture. We'll keep checking for the next week or so at the canal. They may just be well-hidden by the overgrowth. I hope we get a chance at a picture of our 13!


Now for todays quote:

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."

- Walt Disney

I don't intend to ever quit dreaming.