Wednesday, January 14, 2009


To be nobody-but-yourself --
in a world which is doing its best,
night and day, to make you everybody else --
means to fight the hardest battle
which any human being can fight;
and never stop fighting.

I found this quote on a friend's facebook page. I'd always loved the poetry of E.E. Cummings, but I hadn't read any in a long, long time. This quote spoke to me tonight. I've been thinking about how hard it can be, just to be.

In my early years, I tried to fit the mold that was expected of me. Most of the time failing miserably, but I kept on trying. I set my dreams aside in deference to others. I failed to be my own advocate. I failed to follow my heart.

It took time, and life experience, to allow myself the freedom of being me. It didn't happen all at once. The walls I built, according to others specifications, took time to remodel. Some of them had to be torn completely down and started again at the foundation.

I am more "me" today than I have ever been. I'm more at peace, less affected by others low opinions. Maybe this is the gift that comes with age. Maybe I couldn't have pursued certain dreams at any other moment in my life. All I do know is that I am content. I see the good and the bad. I still experience tough days, but I am full of joy. I appreciate each day I have on this earth.


Donna said...

Amen! I have found that the biggest mistakes of my life have been when I was putting my own feelings aside and doing what was "expected" of me. Forget that! I made the choice to be ME, and if people don't like ME, then that's OK. Maybe I dont' like them either, LOL!

Silver Valley Girl said...

And you have allowed the gifts of grace and mercy to flow through your life, and for that I and many other are truly thankful. I love and appreciate YOU so much, and have for many years.

Nita Jo said...

Donna... Thank you! You are always so sweet and supportive. I just knew I wasn't the only one that felt this way. Sending you a big Hug!

SVG... That means so much. I love you too. You just don't know how much your recent visit meant to me. How I sometimes go for days, even weeks, without a friend to talk to face-to-face... one who "gets" me. You are forever "my dear kindred spirit" and I am thankful for you!