Life Lessons and Reflections...

Life Lesson 1 - Talking about something does not make it happen. This is why I am not a published writer. Too much daydreaming, not enough pen to paper or fingers to laptop.

Life Lesson 2 - Release regret. Beating yourself up over things you've done, or things left undone, is not productive. Make the best of what you've learned. Share that knowledge with others, if it will lift them up. Then step away and move forward.

I've been reflecting on my life's journey. Where I wanted to be, where I thought I was going, and where I've ended up. That can be an overwhelming thing to do. It can bring up feelings of loss and regret, but it can also bring up feelings of wonder.

I recently reconnected a friend after many years, and she asked me if I'd ever published any of the children's books I used to talk about. I was forced to look at why I never achieved that goal. There are multiple reasons, including giving up too easily after rejections, discovering I loved children's literature but feeling I had nothing new to contribute to the genre, and just a general lack of direction and motivation. My first reaction was disappointment in myself. Then I began the process of letting that go.

I am not where I imagined I'd be. Life happened. Marriage, job changes, moves, children, loss. I could go on, but why? Regret is only valuable in the short term. Feel it, see it, learn from it, then drop it like a burning coal before it destroys you, before it leaves irreparable scars. Look at your accomplishments! At all the life well lived! At all the love! I have had some amazing experiences along the way.

It's never too late to learn, to release regrets, to begin again, or to start something brand new. Just writing this down is like taking a deep breath of fresh air. Where will it take me? Who knows. The journey is the thing, moving forward one step at a time and enjoying the delights along the way.

© 09Jul2021 ajjahner

Welcome 2021...

Winter scene of Boise, Idaho. 
Free Image from jessbridgewater at Pixabay

Well, it's a brand new year, and I'm hoping for some better days ahead! Other than a couple necessary doctor appointments, I haven't left my home in months. I haven't seen family or friends in almost a year, except at a distance or over the internet. Covid has really changed our lives. 

So, in the meantime, I've spent more quality time with my immediate family, who are quarantined together and working from home. I've enjoyed some great TV series and movies, had long phone conversations with family and friends, and read a lot of books. 

My husband has taken over all of the meal prep, as I'm relegated to using the walker again. I help with what I can, but he says he enjoys doing the cooking and we certainly enjoy partaking of his creations. He is retired now, but everything planned for this time in our lives is, of course, on hold. In lieu of baseball games, camping, car shows, and travelling, he has returned to some old hobbies. He enjoys stamp and coin collecting. He's done some home and garden improvements, and works out daily. He is also giving himself time to watch the old Twilight Zones, the Red Green Show, and more. When he was working, he had little time for the fun stuff, so that has been nice. 

If you're reading this, I hope you are healthy and happy. I wish all the best for you in this new year! 

Happy 2021!!!

Rain and Other Stuff...

Photo by Kerstin Riemer 
From Pixabay, Free Use Images

I'm sitting here listening to the rain coming down, and feeling peaceful. I love the sound of rain hitting the roof!

It's been a crazy couple of days at my home, mostly seen through the hazy eyes my muscle relaxants give me. I'll be glad to be done with those, hopefully very soon! Even so, I still got a little cleaning done, called a couple loved ones, did some reading from a print book, finished a recorded book, watched a little baseball and some more old Survivor episodes, and listened to the news... nuff said about that...

We got our sprinklers blown out earlier today and ready for the coming cold weather, so that's one more item off the checklist! I had also ordered a new vacuum cleaner, which arrived this evening! Paul put it together and took it for a test drive down our dusty hallway. I'm so happy to have a functioning vacuum again! Yay!

Oh, and I'm officially on Social Security. That's so weird because in my head I'm way too young for that, even though my husband retired earlier this year. Funny how that works. That's a quick update on my life. I hope you are all healthy and happy! Now, back to that book I go!

Snapshots of My Summer...

This is a brief recap of my summer so far...

We went from a beautiful, unseasonably cool summer to Holy Cow it's Hot!!! We've been hitting the 100's. Too warm for this gal! I'm dreaming of cool ocean breezes and looking forward to early autumn when the temps drop. I have also been daydreaming about Christmas, thanks to Hallmark Channel and their Christmas in July movies.

I've gotten out of the house a few times, visiting with my sister, some cousins and friends. My tendency is to live a bit like a hermit most of the time, so having multiple outings is a big deal for me. It was a lot of fun! I need to push myself to get out a little more often.

The repairs on Old Blue, my husband's 52 Chevy, are moving right along. After a long and exhaustive search, a replacement door was found. Installing it involved he and a friend sanding, priming, torquing the door frame back into alignment, and ordering new glass for the window. She is well on her way to being ready for a new paint job, but until that can be done, at least Blue is drivable again. At this time, still no compensation from the uninsured driver who wounded her, but what goes around...

On the health front, I'd received very positive news from my last MRI scans. No significant progression of my MS. I'm so thankful. I recently had an outpatient surgery on two arthritic fingers, that went well. Still healing from it, but I can type again! Hurrah!

I'm currently reading Whitethorn Woods, by Maeve Binchy, and enjoying it a lot. She had a gift for creating memorable, believable characters. I've also been catching up on some British TV Series and Netflix Originals. I noticed this morning that Season Two of Anne of Green Gables has been added to Netflix, so I'll be starting it soon. I do recommend you read the books first, of course.

My new Morning Joe mug!
Yes, it's sitting on our Anniversary gift, a book we both want to read.

Another passion of mine is following the news, and Morning Joe is one of my favorite news programs. I like the different people they bring on and enjoy hearing them discuss current events. There's also some laughter to diffuse some of the more serious topics. Yesterday my oldest son handed me a package. Surprise! He had bought me the Morning Joe coffee mug! I love it! This morning, while I watched my recording of the program, I sipped coffee from my special mug. It's the little things that brighten my days the most. Small gestures of love and kindness.

With that, I'll say farewell for now. Love and Blessings, my friends!

© 11JUL2018 ajjahner

Time Together and Alone...

What a lovely weekend it's been! Family time and a bit of solitude. I watched Case Histories, a British crime drama starring Jason Isaacs. I started reading When Death Draws Near by Carrie Stuart Parks, a good read so far. Four boxes were filled for donation which Paul dropped off for me at the Idaho Youth Ranch. And at the moment, I'm waiting for the clothes in the dryer to finish so I can put the next load in. Why I waited until late Sunday evening, I can't explain. It just been one of those days, full, fun, and also relaxing.

I was reminded how much I love spending time with my family. There is nothing so precious as being with people you love, who also love you. The value of time alone is not lost on me either. In every love relationship, whether it's romantic or family, you need to find time to nurture yourself. In doing so, you have more to offer the people you love. With that in mind, I wrote the following poem.

just me, not you
someplace of my own
a hideaway, a nook
an island of self imposed
seclusion
to rest
reflect and reimagine
to rediscover
then emerge, myself again
with you

© 29Apr2018 ajjahner

Hello, 2018...

This is going to be a great year! I'm saying it and believing it! There will likely continue to be political upheavals and unrest in the world, but I feel a sense of optimism about how we'll all deal with it. People need to come together for the greater good. I'm believing they will.

On the home front, my knee is not as swollen, though it's got a way to go. My husband seems to be over his bout with the stomach bug, he had over the weekend. My oldest son is still not well, but getting there. Life is moving back toward normal.

Being laid up gives one lots of time for reflection. I've mentally rearranged and redecorated my home several times. I've imagined all the things I will do once I'm mobile again, like getting out of the house and spending time with family and friends, or refinishing a sideboard which has been sitting out on my back patio for over a year, even just driving the car, anywhere!

I know I said yesterday I was not making a list of resolutions, but I did double my Goodreads challenge for this year. My goal last year was 12 books. One a month. I didn't know if I'd even make that, considering my flaky eyesight, but I got 13 read! Yay! This year I'm going for 24, since I can include audible books on the list. It's just a matter of making time for books, which should be easier since I dropped my DVD subscription. Less movie viewing, more reading!

I've always loved books. There's something wonderful about losing yourself in a good story. I'm currently reading Sisters First: Stories from Our Wild and Wonderful Life, by Jenna Bush Hager and Barbara Pierce Bush. So far, it's a great read, filled with laughter and emotion.

A few books on my "Want to Read" list are Uncommon Type: Some Stories by Tom Hanks, The Mistletoe Murder and Other Stories by P. D. James, Goodbye Christopher Robin by Ann Thwaite, Promise Me, Dad: A Year of Hope, Hardship and Purpose by Joe Biden, The Man Who Invented Christmas by Les Standiford, as well as a long list of cozy msyteries. I'll also be revisiting some old Maeve Binchy favorites and checking out some "new to me" authors like Louise Penny and others.

So, on into the new year! Here's to 2018 being our best year yet!

Stories, Dreams, and Memories...

I'm reading a book by the late Anne Carol George called This One and Magic Life. It's described as a novel of a southern family. It's a definite departure from her Southern Sisters Mysteries. It's much more serious but is infused with the kind of humor which comes from being part of a large, complicated family. About midway through, this paragraph stood out to me:

"Lord knows, there are enough memories.

 Live this long and they run out of your ears, disappear. 

And the ones still in your head you can't trust... 

Well, it's all dreams anyway. And dreams don't make a grain of sense. 

And sometimes I don't know if I'm beginning or ending. 

Or if any of us are. And that's all right."  

~ Naomi Cates, This One and Magic Life by Anne Carroll George

Memories. Fleeting and mysterious and sometimes disturbing, but integral for a story teller. Figuring out how to draw them in and place them in a perfectly wrapped package so people can see the picture you are trying to show them, that is the trick. It's a skill which requires intuition or training. Usually both. It's what I want to figure out how to do. It's exactly what Anne Carol George was able to do with her story, drawing me into the world of this family, compelling me to follow their journey to the end of the book. 

Gatekeepers...

In my last post, I mentioned a book I was reading. The name of the book is Gatekeepers, Let's Talk About Teaching by Tammy McMorrow. I've known Tammy since she was born, and I'm excited to be able to share her first book with you! You may also enjoy visiting her blog, Forever in First.

Although the intended readership for this book would be teachers and educators, it's a book which may also give parents great ideas for helping their children develop a love for learning and for reading. It made me wish all children had a teacher with such a heart for their students.

I enjoyed the entire book, but the two final chapters, Listen to your Heart and Surrounded by Greatness had a powerful impact. I had tears in my eyes as I read them. The author is a teacher with high standards, along with love and positive expectations for her students.

I highly recommend this book for any of the teachers and parents in your lives!

Life, Movies, Tears...

Life has been crazy lately. My husband is still dealing with the legalities and after effects of the car accident, which was not his fault, but they are still making it difficult to settle the hospital bills. A cousin's husband, who is also a friend, is battling cancer. The diagnosis wasn't good, but they have strong faith and a lot of people praying for him. My health has been giving me issues, but I'm pushing back by resting when I need to and taking care of getting myself to see the doctor, which I tend to avoid.

One of my favorite escapes from life's stresses is to put in a good movie. I've been revisiting some childhood favorites. Today it was the 1963 Disney movie, The Incredible Journey. I bought the paperback in 1968, and loved reading it just as much as I loved the movie. This is the version I had.

The following may be a spoiler, if you've never read the book or seen the movie, so you may want to stop reading now...

Even after seeing the movie, and knowing the story so well, it still gets me right in the heart. It's about the journey of Luath, Bodger, and Tao. I love animals, and when old Bodger comes walking out of the woods, the tears just started flowing. I was thinking of all the animals who had been in, and then out, of my life over the years. They become part of the family. I'm not currently a pet owner, but one of these days I'll be making room for another. Right now, I make do by feeding the birds and keeping an eye on the mama duck, who is nesting in my front garden.

Since this is poetry month, here is a link to a favorite of mine. If you don't like to click on links, it is found on YouTube. It's read by the author, Jimmy Stewart, during an appearance on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, and it's called A Dog Named Beau... Have your hanky nearby, unless you're made of stone, which I am not. Crying again, but it's worth every tear. 

Fairies and Imaginings...

The woods are full of fairies;

The sea is full of fish;

The trees are full of golden leaves;

Let's make an autumn wish.

~ Anonymous

Today, I'm thankful for imagination. From my earliest memories, my imagination protected me from some of the harsh realities of my life. It also enabled me to visit exotic locations and have amazing adventures! 

My imagination was, and still is, fueled by books, music, television, and movies. As a young child, books played the largest role. Nancy Drew, Mary Poppins, Lassie, Grimm's Fairy Tales, and a little book published in 1919 called History Stories for Primary Grades. That little history book was where I first read about Joan of Arc, who became one of my heroes. Grimm's Fairy Tales fueled the fantasy side of my daydreams. There were princesses, queens, fairies, and there were children in terrible danger from evil witches or a stepmother.  They managed to somehow overcome and survive the abuse. Imagination helped make me a survivor, and fueled my own creativity.  Spend some time today with your imagination, and delight in the places it can take you!

© 06NOV2014 ajj

Comfort Media...

When I'm cleaning, or doing little odd jobs around the house, I always turn to comfort media.  By that, I mean music, TV or movies which have a nostalgic feel to them.  Occasionally during the holidays, I tune into Days of Our Lives simply to see them decorate their tree.  The ornaments have each character's name on them, and they are placed on the tree during a big family party, including those of cast members who have long ago left the show or passed on.  I never watched soaps much but when I was living in Phoenix, before the days of the VCR, mom would have me watch her soaps for her.  She worked during the day and hated to miss them, so she'd call on the weekend and I'd fill her in on the antics of Marlena and Roman Brady, or what Grandma Alice Horton was up to.  I became a faithful viewer for a few years because of mom.

A lot of people dismiss soaps, as just so much fluff, naughtiness, and bad acting.  That doesn't bother me.  I watch them for the same reason I read comic book adventures as a child.  They were fun, imaginative, and quick.  They were for the days when I didn't want to dive into a Tom Sawyer or a Great Expectations.  It's the same reason I turn on easy listening music, or a light holiday musical, while doing my chores.  It takes my mind off the mundane tasks, without drawing me into something heavy or distracting.  So, it's time for me to tune into a classic movie and get back to my chores.  Until next time...

This free image is from My Vintage Studio.  Sharon has many wonderful images to share. 

© 11DEC2012 ajjahner

Day 4 - Beginnings, Hoarding

Here I am at Day 4 of NaBloPoMo, Beginnings.  See the link on my sidebar for more information.

Today was the beginning of my resolution to regain order in my home.  For those who don't know, I am a hoarder.  Before you all pass out, because I know you've seen those TV shows or the commercials...  NO, I do not have rotting food in my fridge, dead animal carcasses, racoons living in my house (aka Grey Gardens).  In fact, I don't have any pets at this time, though that will change one day.  I do have an overabundance of "stuff" that I have collected over the years.  Even with donating box after box of things to charities, I still have excess.

My love of books has taken over the house.  I am going to stop buying and start reading what I have.  The best-loved will stay.  Those that are a one-time fun read will be sold or donated to a library.

I have baskets, boxes, drawers, and shelves filled with things that I plan to use for art and craft projects.  If I have not created a piece of art by July, I will be having a big yard sale so someone else can dream of being artsy/craftsy.  Even if I do actually start creating pieces, all that good junk needs to be labeled and organized.

I've been giving away family keepsakes, knickknacks, photos, etc. to other family members I know will treasure them.  I've had to ask myself, how much can one old girl enjoy?  Really.  I have dreams of simplifying.  And yes, it's been on my resolution list before.  The difference is that my heart is ready for a big change.  One of these days, there will be photos to document the changes.

Now, about those other resolutions... yes, there are a couple but this is the big one for 2012!  Simplify, Organize, and Enjoy the Journey.

© 04JAN12 ajj

Day 3 - Beginnings, Art & Books

My love of books started very young.  I'm not sure of my exact age, but one of the first was a very large picture book.  They were called My Big Little Golden Books and measured about 12 by 9 inches.  Mine was called Wonders of Nature and I loved it.  The illustrations were by Eloise Wilkin, and they were beautiful.

 This was the beginning of my love affair with books and art.  Over the years, I've read hundreds of books.  When my grandpa couldn't get me to the library, I would pick up the Childcraft Encyclopedias.  I read them from cover to cover.  I loved reading so much, I read about subjects I wasn't naturally drawn to, such as science.  When I'd exhausted all of my books, and my sister's, I started reading books from my grandparents shelves.  This was everything from Go Tell It On The Mountain by James Baldwin to The Yearling by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings.  Then I moved on to magazines.  We always had Better Homes & Gardens, Readers Digest, and National Geographic.

Stories opened a new world for me.  One of travel, adventure, and imagination.  These days I spend much of my reading time online, visiting other bloggers, and continuing my happy journey with the written word.

 © 03JAN12 ajj

Melancholy...

In between moments of fun and the busyness of life, I've had a weird, weepy melancholy the past few days.  My grandma's best friend turned 80 on Saturday.  I wanted to be there to celebrate with her, but travel is not an option right now.  That was also the one year anniversary of my grandma's passing.  I guess that added to the emotions.

So many things have happened in my life over this past year.  I'm in a place of reflection and self-examination.  I have a clearer picture of things I want to accomplish, and I'm hoping to have the strength to get them done.  I also know what I'm ready to let go of.

I dusted off my piano the other day and sat down to play.  I was shocked at how difficult it is now.  Music is one of those things that requires practice to maintain, and I can't remember the last time I played.  I wasn't very good, but I discovered it still gives me great joy to make music.  I've promised to make more time for the things that give me joy.  Playing the piano, reading a good book, spending time with family and friends.  All those things and more.

I just found this post by a friend.  She shared the poem, The Pleasures of Ordinary Life.  It speaks to what I've been feeling.  You can find it Here, at Gathering Round the Table. 

Memory Lane Mondays

Today is the first installment for Memory Lane Mondays.  I've been going through my books recently, so this memory is one that came to mind.  I hope you enjoy it...

My parents divorced when I was 4 years old, so it was just my momma, my little sis and me.  Momma did the best she  could, working as a waitress, and making ends meet.  She developed an eye for a bargain.  She clothed us and furnished our home with second hand deals.  She was a fixture at the Salvation Army Store each week when the trucks brought in the "new" donations.  The Caldwell Auction became a regular part of her routine.  There was also the Youth Ranch, St. Vincents, yard sales, and more.  There wasn't a lot of money to go around, but my sis and I never knew it.



I began reading at an early age, and from the moment my mind began to understand the concept of words and stories, I loved books.  At the end of my first grade year, I decided to take my Dick, Jane, and Sally book home with me.  Somehow, I knew it was wrong so I hid the book in my room.  It wasn't long before Momma found it.  I could tell she was disappointed in me.  She rarely got cross with me, but this day she did.  She explained that bringing the book home was stealing, and that I would have to return it at the beginning of the next school year.  Momma took the book and placed it in her cedar chest.  "Can't I have it until we take it back" I pleaded.  "No, it's not yours to read.  It stays in the chest until you return it to school." she answered.  That's where it stayed, and I learned a valuable lesson.  Momma stuck by her principles, but she also saw how much I loved reading.  After that, whenever my birthday or Christmas came around, there was always a book with my name in it.


© 31JAN11 ajj


NOTE:  To Participate, or if you just want to read other peoples stories, click on the Memory Lane Mondays photo link.  It's on my sidebar. 

The Brenda Photo Challenge & Other Thoughts...

The Brenda Photo Challenge is today.  The category for this challenge is "wood".  To see my pictures, go to: Nita Jo's Photos.

To see the other photographer's entries, click on The Brenda Photo Challenge and follow the links.  This is a fun photography challenge.  They welcome amateurs like myself, and there are some very experienced photographers too.

Now on to other thoughts... 

I am amazed I got even two pictures ready.  I've got the sneezing, coughing, achy head, sore throat... junk!  I took my Alka-Seltzer so I'm feeling pretty good right now.  I just can't get back to sleep.  It's working out fine for me though.  I've been sorting through my photographs, doing a bit of organizing.  

Another job I started to tackle today was going through my books one by one.  I decided it is time to purge some of them out of my life.  I ran out of space on my bookshelves a long time ago, and I have several of them.  My beloved classics and childhood favorites will stay... Little Women, David Copperfield, Mary Poppins, Anne of Green Gables.  Also, staying are my Agatha Christie collection, The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, all my C. S. Lewis, and many of my mystery books.  Some spiritual and inspirational books.  A few books of poetry.

That sounds like a lot, but if you could see my shelves... well, I have every book ever given to me, purchased by me, or left to me.  My love of reading started very early.  Books were a window into other lives and worlds.  They were magic carpet rides into foreign lands, where amazing adventures were waiting to be discovered.  What I will pass on are the books that were "one time only" reading quality.  Those that no longer speak to who I am.  They will go to other readers.  To friends, to libraries, or to second hand stores.  It will take more than a day or two, but I'm really looking forward to reclaiming some space in my home.

Wishing each of you a peaceful, blessed weekend.

Music, Books and Memories

That's my little Sis and I sitting at the organ in our home on N. Meridian Road. We called it the "White House" because the former owner was named White.

I began my piano lessons on this organ. Then a family loaned us a piano for a couple of years until my mom bought us one. It was a huge, heavy Oak upright that has traveled everywhere I've gone. I'm sitting at my desk, right next to it, as I type this.

The first song I remember learning on the organ was Long, Long Ago and oddly enough, it was in an old song book I acquired recently.

"Tell me the tales that to me were so dear. Long, long ago... long, long ago. Sing me the songs I delighted to hear. Long, long ago, long ago..."

I have been traveling back in time, seeing long forgotten images. Grandma sitting in an old metal lawn chair with my little sis on one knee, and I am sitting in the grass, with my head resting on her other knee. She is reading "I Like Kindergarten". Sis and I loved that book.

I loved any books that were read to me or that I could read. I scoured the bookshelves at our house. My grandparents had an odd assortment of books. A lot of religious books, a copy of The Yearling, Cross Creek, two Dana Girl Mysteries that had belonged to our aunt, and our set of Childcraft Encylopedias. Sis and I had several Golden Books, Dr. Suess books and a small selection received as gifts; Daddy Long Legs, Dear Enemy, and the Bobbsey Twins, to name a few.

As I grew older, books were added to my collection through the school's Scholastic Book Club. I loved that little newsletter with all the colorful book covers and descriptions. I would study it from front to back, carefully making my selection. "Run Wild, Run Free, White Fang, Misty of Chincoteague, Ring of Bright Water, The Incredible Journey, David Copperfield, Anne of Green Gables.

I still have a tremendous love of music and books. I listen more than play these days, but I still spend a great deal of time reading. Books can take you away from yourself, and sometimes they can help you find out who you really are.