Where Have I Been?

Life got messy again. Between the yard sale, a family member moving away soon, major changes at my church which I still can't attend in person, hitting a roadblock with my writing... it's all been a bit too much.

I made my third call this week to people I love who now have dementia. Two of the calls were today. Mary W. last Thursday. She remembered me, or seemed to, but little else. I'm still glad I made the call. Paul's Aunt Beth was today. She didn't know me at all. I still chatted a bit and told her I loved her. She and I have spent hours on the phone the past few years, talking art, writing, family, politics. So much in common and so much shared laughter. 

The last call was to my Uncle Tom. He knew me but was living in an earlier time in his life. We were able to talk about his motorcycle and his cats. He misses having pets where he's at. It's hard not to cry. You don't lose the person, but you lose a treasure trove of memories you shared. He was the last person I know who remembered my great grandparents, my grandparents, and my mom's childhood. I still had so many more questions to ask. Below is a photo of my uncle and his two sisters who have both passed on. He's the last of his siblings. The last who would have known their childhood stories.

Tom, Patsy, and Leah

Life is fleeting. When you're busy living it, you sometimes forget to savor it. To see and hear and absorb the stories of family members. I'm going to make an effort to be more present when I am with loved ones. To enjoy the moments and the making of memories. 

© 17AUG2022 ajjahner

July Activites

July has been a busy month so far. It occurred to me, I completely dropped the ball on my June Prompts so I went to take a look at the ones I hadn't used. I picked the following, for June 30th, to do today.

Describe an activity that reminds you of your childhood summers.

My childhood summers were filled with so many activities, but one I loved back then and still love today was shopping at yard sales. There was something exciting about piling into mom's car, heading down the road watching for signs, and quickly pulling into a parking spot. We all had some spending money and would begin searching the tables for a special treasure to take home. You never knew what you would find. A new book, a pretty doll, a board game, a cassette tape. Sometimes I'd find a new piece of clothing. Well, new to me and that was fun! I remember getting a Beatles cassette and mom discovering a song that was not appropriate, so she made me tape over that section with something else. I still get the same feeling of excitement when I spot a yard sale sign. 

So, that's my take on the June 30th prompt. It was written in 5 minutes without editing. I'm not even allowing myself the luxury of checking for spelling and punctuation errors. So there it is, though I really wanted to change those last two lines. They just didn't read well to me. That's part of the challenge, to just write.

This particular prompt fit with my most recent activity. We got our yard sale behind us and had a lot of fun doing it. We sold a lot of small items. My sister brought over some magazines and comic books which surprisingly sold very well. I neglected to take photos of the sale, except for a few items.

Cherished Teddy, Hannah

Tooth Fairy Box

Angel Box

Vintage Magazines

The best part of having the sale was visiting with the variety of people who stopped to shop. Each person was on the hunt for treasures. Some browsed with nothing particular in mind, just enjoying the process of seeing what jumped out at them. Others were on the search for a specific type of item. I was asked for Pyrex, video games, and Pokemon cards for example. The day was warm, but a nice breeze kept us from feeling the heat too much. It was a fun way to spend a day!

Favorite Memory Prompt

I haven't been using the June writing prompts but decided to try another one today. Life has just been so busy, including reconnecting with a little sister I hadn't seen in over 30 years. It was amazing! I may share more about it at some future date, but what I will say today is I am beyond happy and feel so blessed!

Now to the prompt. These are written with a 5 minute timer and unedited. The point is to push myself to write a little bit each day when possible. I'm doing the June 8th one today. 

8. Describe a favorite memory of a summer evening. 

I'm in our yard, mid 1960's. It's dusk and grandma is sitting in one of the lawn chairs. Grandpa points out the moonflowers. They are opening up! It's a magical sight to see the yellow blooms slowly unfolding into full bloom as the warm evening gets darker. As I look past them, across the gravel drive and the grapevines growing over the metal double loop fence, I can see the neighbors white house and big red barn in the distance. To the west the mountains look blue in the darkening sky. The fresh summer smells drift in on the warm breeze. Our old calico mama cat is tracking one of the giant moths that are attracted to the moonflowers. My sister and I watch it all with delight.

© 15JUN2022 ajjahner

It's June!

June has arrived, sunny and beautiful! With it a new list of prompts from Grow Me A Story. I'll add my first one below but first I want to share a bit. This class I've been taking has been so helpful in breaking down some roadblocks I had about my writing. In addition to the daily writing exercises, I've been writing on this blog a little more faithfully, I've written a couple of short stories and a poem, and I finally picked up the draft pages of a book I started years ago and began the process of dusting them off. Yesterday I spent a couple hours reading about half the pages I'd written. I made a few edits. I also added notes for information I need to add to the book as I begin working on it again. I have a long way to go, but I feel confident that this is a book I want to complete, and I'm excited to get back to work on it.

Now for the first June Prompt:

Photos from Pixabay

June 1 Prompt - Summer

Summer is my least favorite season because of the heat, but I do have wonderful memories of happy summer days. Random thoughts like waking early and the dew is still on the grass. A world of flowers in bloom. Walking barefoot. In the grass it's cool and tickly, in the gravel it hurts a bit and is warm. Trips to Lucky Peak when I was a kid. Watermelon. Fresh strawberries. Hot dogs cooked on a grill. Coca-Cola. Snow cones. Ice cream cones. Warm sun beating down and feeling so good on my skin. Shorts and halter tops. Children running through sprinklers. Baseball in the back yard. Hide and seek. Summer days gone by. So many memories!

#growmeastory

© 01JUN2022 ajjahner

May Prompts #6, Final Prompts

It's hard to believe we are already at the end of May. I finished the rest of my prompts, so before the calendar turns to June, here they are!

27. What would eliminate the insecurity you named yesterday?

I think the only way to elimininate that is to continue to write. To trust myself. Get the words down and believe in my ability to tell a story with compassion, with truth, and everything else will fall into place. The spelling and grammar should not even play a part in the beginning process of getting words on paper. That is for much later, for an editor or even my own editing once I have the story written down. To break the bonds of insecurity, I have to keep pushing myself forward and possibly right off that scary high dive, plunging deeply into the unknown. That means I must simply keep writing it all down. Trust the process. Trust myself. Put my thoughts and words on paper. Write!

28. What makes you feel confident as a writer?

The main thing is feeling like I have a lot of stories to share. There are just so many ideas in my head. I've also received a lot of positive feedback over the years, starting as early as High School, then later as I wrote my blog, wrote a church newsletter, and shared parts of my book ideas and short stories with friends who were also writers. So, not just family, though there's nothing wrong with that either. Many of my family are avid reads and wouldn't hesitate at telling me if they didn't like it. I know I have the skills. I know I have the stories. It's just a matter of getting down to business and getting the work done. That is the hard part for me.

29. What did you learn this month?

I learned how much more is tucked away in my memory that I haven't even begun to access. Through the daily May Prompts, I've explored some new ideas and thoughts. It's helped me to focus in on my writing. Even doing them in blocks, as I did, rather than each day was still helpful. I learned that taking a break doesn't need to mean failure or giving up. It's a break! Come right back and the break has served it's purpose. Never quit just because you hit a roadblock. Daily writing really helps with creativity, so I want to contiue that as faithfully as I am able. I learned I have much to share and that I am able to get the work done if I put my mind to it.

30. Describe a food that reminds you of summer.

This is not your usual summer food but for me it's a fresh Gooseberry Pie! Growing up, picking gooseberries was part of our early summer tasks. Grandpa would usually pick them, though I helped many times, then we'd sit outside under the shade of our big oak tree and pluck the blossoms off each berry. This had to be done carefully and meticulously, to Grandma's standards! No brown bit of blossom must be left and no breaking of the berries. While we plucked the berries, Grandma would tell stories or sing. We'd join in the singing, in harmony like she'd taught us. At the end, she'd make that fresh Gooseberry Pie with part of the berries. The rest would go into the freezer. She'd serve us all a warm slice with a scoop of vanilla ice cream that gently melted over the delicious pie. Heaven!

31. Name a time when planning ahead paid off and why.

Wow, this takes some thought. Since I'm home almost 100% of the time, I do very little planning ahead. I mostly fly by the seat of my big ol' pants! Yes, you can laugh! I am! I guess one thing I put a lot of planning into was our vacation to the Oregon Coast a few years back. Plannng ahead meant best locations to stay, better prices, etc. It was a wonderful time and all within my budget. I've also done some planning ahead on my book. The first and last pages are written. I have titles and an outline for each chapter. Many chapters have been partially written. It hasn't paid off yet, but the outline is helping me organize the story and make progress on it.

#growmeastory

© 31MAY2022 ajjahner

May Prompts #5

Here are the next few prompts. I'm still not caught up, but working on it. So many things to do!

23. Write a letter to your 10-year-old self on the last day of school before summer break.

Dear Jo, 

This is going to be one of the best summers ever! Take it all in. Hold it! Remember it! After the loss of your little brother, there will be an extra effort by the adults in your life. Enjoy the love and attention. It's not that they love you differently or more than before, it's just that they realize how fleeting life is. You are headed to California with your grandparents and your little sister, leaving school early! That means Disneyland, Knotts Berry Farm, Sea World. You get to see the ocean! Ask them to take lots of pictures of you and your sis. You will wish they had. Soak in all the sights at Disneyland. The magic, the colors, the sounds. Hear the laughter of your grandparents, your sis, the Thorntons, and remember. Tuck it all away in your heart and memory as the treasure it is! Live fully! Have fun! 

With love, your much older self, Anita Jo

24. Describe the scene outside your window.

As I glanced out my sliding doors, I see so much green from all the rain we've been blessed with this spring. Today is overcast and colder. The wind is gently blowing the leaves of the Maple tree and the Hollyhocks which are now about 3 feet high. The two potted geraniums are in full bloom. Red and so pretty! Two of the rose bushes on the berm now have blossoms, the red one and the pink one. There are birds at the feeders. Doves in the big one, staying under the cover in case of more rain. The rhubarb has gone crazy! It is so tall and thick and takes command of 1/3 of our garden spot. I am loving the rain, the clouds, and all the blooms and the green! It's a perfect afternoon for writing and reading.

25. Use the word "progress" as your prompt today.

Progress. To move forward. To accomplish a goal. I can feel I've made progress in some areas in the past few months. Much of it due to this class on The Artist's Way. I have written, by hand, three pages most days. I've done many of the book tasks. I've joined in the Zoom classes even on days I wanted to just hide quietly in a book or a movie. That is real progress for me! I tend to avoid things that make me uncomfortable, so to push myself into this new technology (new to me) and share with my instructors and classmates is true progress. I have also made advances in my writing and feel it has opened up my mind to what more I can accomplish. Another area is I've started taking better care of my health with diet changes and exercise. This is all progress for me.

26. What makes you feel insecure in your writing, and why?

I'd like to think I wasn't insecure in my writing but history shines a glaring light on that. I obsess about whether or not I am using proper English, spelling, and puctuation. I worry excessively about how my words will be interpreted. Will I offend anyone? Will they find my writing boring or lacking in substance? If it's a blog post, I worry that my words will be hard to "hear" and that my writing voice might reflect snarkiness when I intended to just be thoughtful and honest. In considering a book, I worry it won't entertain or that I won't be making the point I'm going for. If there are insecurities about writing, I'm sure I have all of them. 

#growmeastory 

© 29MAY2022 ajjahner

More May Writing Prompts

Writing went on the back burner while I took some much needed time to rest and recuperate. I worked on a couple more of the May writing prompts. Catching up, but not quite there yet. Just a reminder, these are from my handwritten notes. You take the prompt, set a 5 minute timer, and just write. These are the results.

May 9. Write about a memory of your favorite childhood teacher.

Mrs. Stewart was my 7th grade Social Studies teacher and also my English teacher. My favorite class with her was English. We did all the practical class activities, but the most wonderful thing she did was to introduce me to books I had never thought of reading. One of those was The Long Walk by Slavomir Rawicz. This was a book about an escape from a prision camp just after World War II. Mrs. Stewart decided that even as 7th graders we needed a story. Our class was right after lunch so for the first few minutes of class she read to us. This story was so emotional that more than once she had tears start rolling down her cheeks. She would put the book mark in and say "We'll have to come back to this tomorrow" much to our dismay and loud protestations. Mrs. Stewart opened my eyes to new, different, and often important books. I loved her!

May 10. Use the word "sunshine" as your prompt today.

"Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy. Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry. 

Sunshine on the water looks so lovely. Sunshine almost always makes me high."

This John Denver song came immediately to mind. It's exactly how I feel about sunshine. It brings happiness, life, warmth, and can also make me cry.  Memories of sunny days gone by. I love the way warm sun feels on my skin. How it cheers me after a storm has passed. It brings to mind swingsets, backyard baseball, ready or not, beaches, sand, grass, rocks. All the things of play and of nature that you see out on a sunny day. Sunshine can be healing for the spirit.

11.What is something you want?

I want my home back. I live in a house I have filled with clutter. Stuff. When there is too much stuff, it loses it's significance. It becomes overwhelming, exhausting. I want my home to be organized and welcoming. A place for family and for the photos and treasures I cherish the most. A place where friends could come in and feel comfortable and welcomed. The hard part is figuring out how to make it a reality. How to separate myself from things that hold emotional connections but now are really no longer needed to keep those memories alive. It's  process. A difficult one, but I'm ready to undertake it. I want my home back! I will have it!

12.What is something you need?

There are so many things I need or could use, but the most important thing right now is my health. I need to be well enough to do the things I enjoy and the things that need done. Organizing my home, writing my book, working on Ancestry, dates with my husband, outings with friends. In order to do any of these I need to feel good. Poor health is robbing me of joy! It has robbed me of attending weddings, showers, funerals, birthdays. It has kept me from the things I love most like reseaching ancestors, writing a book on my family history, finishing the book on The Dollhouse. I need to work on my health! I need to reclaim it!

#growmeastory

© 19MAY2022 ajjahner

May Writing Prompts

The course I am taking through Grow Me A Story has given a list of writing prompts for the month of May. I finally got around to getting some of them done. These are just thoughts on the prompt, written in 5 minutes. You take the prompt for the day, set a timer, and just write whatever comes to mind. Here are the first few I've done. These are typed just as I wrote them, without editing.

May 1. Use the word "bloom" as your prompt today.

The word bloom makes me think of my mom. One of her favorite sayings was "Bloom where you are planted". Easier said than done sometimes. I'm currently in a rocky place. To bloom seems difficult, but it is not impossible. If roots are planted deeply enough, then water and nourishment will be found, and as they are found, I will flourish and eventually blooms will appear. Bloom is a word of hope. Of coming to fruition. Of life and of beauty. As I look out into my yard, I see all the beautiful blooms that came from plants and trees which had lain dormant during the long winter months. Then came the season to bloom, to shine! That time is coming for me, as a writer and as a person.

May 2. Write about a time you went on a picnic.

Picnics bring to mind my mom. We went on a lot of picnics when I was young. To the parks, to the hills, to Lucky Peak or Robie Creek. I remember one picnic when I was about 6 years old. It was at Lucky Peak. Mom spread a blanket over the hot sand, near the water. We had hot dogs on white bread. The ketchup oozed through the thin Wonder Bread, but the hot dogs were delicious! We had glass bottles of soda, bags of chips, and I think there was watermelon. Mom sat in her cutoffs and button-up shirt tied at her waist, dark sun glasses. We played in the sand and in the water! It was a perfect day!

May 3. Imagine your perfect summer day and describe it using your senses.

Summer is not my favorite season, but there have been some wonderful summer days. My perfect summer day would be sunny, but not too hot. About 68 to 72 degrees, a slight breeze keeping the air moving. The scent of roses and other summer flowers in the air. It would be walking barefoot in the soft grass or on a beach. It would be a trip to the park with a picnic lunch and then a visit to the zoo. It would be stopping for an icee, a snow cone, or an ice cream cone. It would be taking the slow way home and going off plan to drive wherever the road takes me, radio playing, hair blowing in the wind from my open window. All of these or any one of these!

May 4. Describe your plan for your summer writing.

I don't really have a plan. I've been advised to just write. To let words flow onto paper. To just get something written down. That is what I plan to do. I also plan to put more family stories onto "paper". To get the memories down for my sons to have to to enjoy. I also plan to revisit the books I started. To read them again. To add some content to them. To share them with someone who will look at them with fresh eyes. To accept criticism. To allow myself the time and the commitment to just write freely and without restricting my thoughts. Write. Write. Write. That is my only plan.

May 5. Use the word "growth" as your prompt today.

Growth. To change. To stretch. To bloom. To reach a new stature or a new place. To achieve a new goal. I am pushing to achieve new growth in my writing this year. Working through the class and the prompts from Grow Me A Story. It has enlarged my borders. It has created the "fertile ground" for my growth to begin to take off. I can feel the changes in how I am approaching not just writing, but in other areas of my life. Growth means health. When we're not growing, we are not really living. We are stagnant. Growth requires nourishment, fresh air, sunshine, and care. That's what growth in my creative life requires.

May 6. Describe the best and worst things that happened this week.

This one is hard. I suppose the worst thing is this miserable cough that keeps hanging on. Being sick has kept me from doing things around the house I wanted to get done. It has kept me from my Morning Pages and other creative work. The best thing is I finally saw my doctor. Started on antibiotics and meds and now am feeling better. I'm back to my Morning Pages. I've had a surge of creative energy just this morning. We've also had more rain, my lilacs are beginning to bloom. There is always good alongside any bad. Look for the good in life. It is there for the taking.

May 7. Identify an obstacle to enjoying your summer. What can you do about it?

I am the obstacle. My cough, my weakness, my overall poor health. My fear of leaving my house and the fear of having anyone visit me because of all the clutter. My dislike of summer heat and how it makes me feel. I can work to improve my health. Follow doctor's orders. Keep exercising and increasing my strength levels. Start leaving the comfort of my house a little at a time, beginning with small outings. Get my house in order so I won't feel shame when a friend comes by. And, work on ignoring my own mess and enjoying the fact that there is a wonderful friend here to visit with me in my own home. Lose the personal judgement I put on myself!

8.Describe a favorite memory of your mother or a mother figure from your childhood.

My mother. There are so many memories to choose from. The same with my grandma, the mother who raised me. For mom it's yard sales, long drives, picking asparagus from the side of the road, listening to the radio, spur of the moment ideas like knocking down her old fence with the help of her Volkwagen Bug. Laughter! For grandma it's singing and learning to harmonize. Hanging laundry together. Hearing her pray while she was cleaning or just walking through the house. Playing checkers and Scrabble. Long walks up the field. Hearing her yodal! Hearing her laughter. Feeling her love. Feeling their love! Having the blessing of 2 mothers in my life. Both who loved me so deeply and so well! I have been blessed!

#growmeastory

© 09MAY2022 ajjahner

Dealing With Loss...

Here is another draft from 2019. I find it is still relevant, as several friends have been dealing with loss in recent months. There are also times when grief over the loss of a parent, other family member, or dear friend is triggered once again, even when it was years ago. The pain resurfaces and we feel it all over again. At those times, these same suggestions would be helpful to remember.

Originally Written: July 15, 2019 3:05 PM 

I wrote this in a comment to an acquaintance, who recently lost her father, in answer to her question, "What do you do to take care of yourself, to emotionally heal, during your roughest times?"

"I don't really have anything new to add to all these great suggestions. During loss, I kept pushing myself through the necessary tasks of life. I believe that was helpful, but it was also very important to have moments of allowing the grief to flow out of me through tears and time to get lost in the memories. I wrote about my feelings, I searched through photos and videos, I donated to charities in remembrance, I gave myself permission to take time to sit quietly and just let the feelings wash through me.

My belief is our loved ones are very present with us for a time, if we allow ourselves to connect. Even if a person doesn't believe in spirit connection, there is much to be said for the power of memory. Close your eyes and feel the memory of their smile, hugs, voice, the very essence of who they were to you. One of my favorite suggestions, in the earlier comments, is creating a special memory place in your Secret Garden. A corner for your dad, a place to sit and remember. Fill it with the joyful memories. Fill it with color. Let the tears release your pain, until they become tears of joy and laughter."

Music and Memory...

Evening has come and it's still above 100 degrees, so I'm sitting in my air conditioned family room listening to YouTube videos. Darius Rucker and Adele singing Need You Now, Allison Krauss and Jerry Douglas performing a tribute to James Taylor with Carolina in My Mind, Emeli Sande singing Breathing Underwater, Cece Winans with Blessed Assurance...

It brings to mind how much music has shaped my life. There are songs that bring me to tears, some that make my heart laugh, those that make me want to dance, and songs that make my heart rejoice and worship.

Just the beginning chords of a song can transport me back to a particular moment in time. Music wields a unique power to stir emotion and memory. It touches the soul like nothing else does.

And with that, I'll sign off for now. Wishing you a good night...

© 19JUL2018 ajjahner

Stories, Dreams, and Memories...

I'm reading a book by the late Anne Carol George called This One and Magic Life. It's described as a novel of a southern family. It's a definite departure from her Southern Sisters Mysteries. It's much more serious but is infused with the kind of humor which comes from being part of a large, complicated family. About midway through, this paragraph stood out to me:

"Lord knows, there are enough memories.

 Live this long and they run out of your ears, disappear. 

And the ones still in your head you can't trust... 

Well, it's all dreams anyway. And dreams don't make a grain of sense. 

And sometimes I don't know if I'm beginning or ending. 

Or if any of us are. And that's all right."  

~ Naomi Cates, This One and Magic Life by Anne Carroll George

Memories. Fleeting and mysterious and sometimes disturbing, but integral for a story teller. Figuring out how to draw them in and place them in a perfectly wrapped package so people can see the picture you are trying to show them, that is the trick. It's a skill which requires intuition or training. Usually both. It's what I want to figure out how to do. It's exactly what Anne Carol George was able to do with her story, drawing me into the world of this family, compelling me to follow their journey to the end of the book. 

Thoughts...

I was reading a note on Facebook posted by Marion Chesney aka M. C. Beaton this morning. She talked of the dog days of summer, people gone on holiday and the kind of holiday she dreams of, the "good old days" versus today's world.

"I never dream of beach holidays... I like holidays in cities with theatres and opera houses and old buildings. I like sitting on boulevards and watching the world go by... The cafes are no longer smart and not even cheap to make up for it. The shops are chain shops. But otherwise I do not long for the so-called good old days... So many bad things have been eased out. And so many bad things are now with us. I have friends who find the present world situation frightening. All one can do, I suppose, is to make life as pleasant as possible for as many in ones immediate environment and hope some of the ripples spread out across the murky pond." ~ Marion Chesney

I left this comment:

"This piece stuck a chord with me. I don't dream of beaches, other than to walk one in the cool morning, when not many are around. I love people, but love solitude perhaps even more. I have fond memories of earlier days, but no desire to go back. My dreams now are much the same as they've always been. Wishes for a peaceful world, a stable income, good health, a place to call home, surrounded by people I love... those are the things I wish for everyone."

Looking back and treasuring happy memories is good therapy for the soul, as long as we don't forget to live in the present. That said, this day is especially poignant for me. It's the 16th anniversary of my brother's passing. There's sorrow in this memory, and I relive it every year on this date.

We can't go back, and most of the time we wouldn't want to. The moments I love to remember, and might wish to revisit, are the happy times. Days of laughter, singing together, Christmases, birthdays, trips to Lucky Peak or Robie Creek for picnics and swimming, perusing second hand and antique stores, sitting in the back yard with a Coke and the radio playing some tunes, the smiles, the hugs.

The lesson is to treasure the moments as they come. The magic of my everyday life. The simple joys and pleasures. There is no guarantee of anything other than this very moment. When I look back at my life, the sad and the beautiful moments, it's the beauty which stands out the strongest. I write about the pain, because it helps to dilute it. In reflecting on my memories, it's the beauty which overrides the pain, and there has been so much beauty! So much joy! So many things to smile about and to be thankful for!

Wishing you days filled with Joy!

© 08Aug2016 ajj

Early Spring...

I've been so busy recently. Took my sis to breakfast and to the Antique Mall last weekend. It was such a fun morning. Shared recent news and reminisced over old family stories. We scored some more family photos at the mall! In one lot, there was my own wedding photo which I'd given a great aunt and uncle. You just never know what you'll find when you go treasure hunting. Does that mean my sweetheart and I are now antiques? Or at least very collectible?

My youngest was on his break between winter session and spring semester. It was very nice having him home. I know the days of him hanging out with us may be very short. He graduates from college this year, and who knows where his future will take him. My mom heart is praying he gets a fantastic job, but just not too far away. That's reasonable, right?

Last evening we went to dinner at Red Robin, with two of our best friends. I tried their french dip with grilled onions. Oh my, it was so good! I've found a new favorite! Afterward, we went back to their home and played Dominoes. We had so many laughs. It was a wonderful time.

I've spent part of today scanning old negatives onto my computer. It's a long-term project which I started two or three years ago. It's very time consuming, but will be worth it to have our photos backed up on computer and in "the cloud" wherever that really is.

It feels like an early spring really is in store this year. I am definitely ready for it. Spring is already in my heart today!

© 06Feb2016 ajj

Keeping the Memories...

My imagination has been such an active part of who I am. I'm fascinated by what may come. What could happen? What will happen? The past has always called to me as well. I've imagined hundreds of different lives and wondered what it would have been like to be one of those interesting women.

In recent years, I turned that imagination about the past into actual research about my own ancestors. It's been fulfilling and fun. There's still so much I haven't been able to uncover, so my search continues.

My home is filled with bits and pieces of memories. I've been reluctant to part with items which trigger such strong imagery and feelings, but I've done quite a bit of parting over the past year or two. Yesterday I began going through some boxes of things. Odd assortments of photographs, vintage valentines, jewelry, knickknacks... junk to many, treasure to me. I still find it hard to separate the memories and the imaginings from the items. Is this what triggers all other keepers of things? Those labeled hoarders. Those disdained by the very neat and tidy masses? Thankfully, for me, it's not food or animals, but it's a wild assortment of so many other things.

My mama saved my first grade artwork, my dresses, shoes, even books which were left behind when I was sent to live with grandma and grandpa. She tucked them away in old suitcases and boxes, saving them for a day when we could look at them together and share a laugh and a memory. I don't know why I'm saving her treasures. I'll never get to sit with her, holding one in my hand and say, "Remember when..." or hear her giggle over any of it. When I do hold one of these things, I am transported back in a way nothing else can do. I'm there again, and she is with me, and my world seems a little more complete.

© 26Jan2016 ajj

Burning Leaves...

Vintage Autumn Print

November is filled with so many memories. One of my fondest is raking up piles of oak leaves. My sister and I would have fun jumping in the leaves, while grandpa continued to rake under the birch, the crab apple, and the willows, then he would take them, one wheelbarrow load at a time, and roll them out to the burn barrels. I still love the smell of burning leaves during autumn. That aroma is much more rare where I live now, as my little town has grown so large. The fields have been replaced with houses and shopping centers, and there are restrictions on burning in city limits. I may have to toss a couple leaves on the barbecue, and see if the smell still evokes the same feelings.

© 11NOV2014 ajj

Fairies and Imaginings...

The woods are full of fairies;

The sea is full of fish;

The trees are full of golden leaves;

Let's make an autumn wish.

~ Anonymous

Today, I'm thankful for imagination. From my earliest memories, my imagination protected me from some of the harsh realities of my life. It also enabled me to visit exotic locations and have amazing adventures! 

My imagination was, and still is, fueled by books, music, television, and movies. As a young child, books played the largest role. Nancy Drew, Mary Poppins, Lassie, Grimm's Fairy Tales, and a little book published in 1919 called History Stories for Primary Grades. That little history book was where I first read about Joan of Arc, who became one of my heroes. Grimm's Fairy Tales fueled the fantasy side of my daydreams. There were princesses, queens, fairies, and there were children in terrible danger from evil witches or a stepmother.  They managed to somehow overcome and survive the abuse. Imagination helped make me a survivor, and fueled my own creativity.  Spend some time today with your imagination, and delight in the places it can take you!

© 06NOV2014 ajj

November...

This lovely autumn picture is a Jane Berry Hudson illustration.
It was a shared image, courtesy of Bumble Button.

I'm thankful for this beautiful autumn day! November is one of my favorite months of the year, and not just because it's my birth month. It's the beginning of holiday time and brings back so many happy memories! It makes me long to get together with family and friends. There's the coziness of a warm house in contrast to the crisp, fresh air just outside the door. There's the smell of leaves, and sometimes rain. The vibrant colors. The shorter days. Planning for the holidays. I'm loving November!

An Unmade Memory...

Since my last post, I've become acutely aware of the passage of time. It sneaks up beside us, races quickly on, and before we know it, life has changed in so many ways.

On the 16th of April, my 49 year old cousin, Kristin, passed away in her sleep. It was shocking. It was too soon. It was heartbreaking. At the memorial service, her little brother looked at me and said something to the effect of "Last time we were together, we promised next time would be for something fun, but here we are..." The most recent event, where many of the cousins had seen each other, was at grandma's memorial service in 2010. Every one of us intended to make more time for one another, but life has a way of interfering with the best of intentions.

It was both wonderful and agonizing to see so many family members. We shared a lot of tears. We shared some moments of joy. Memories permeated the room like strong incense, pleasing yet making it difficult to breath. I'm still finding it hard to breath, as I write this. Oh, for one more moment to chat with Kristin. To see that smile and hear her laughter. I have to be satisfied with knowing she is in the arms of a Heavenly Father, and is with so many who love her, who made the journey before she did. And there is some peace in it, but the peace doesn't erase the wish in my heart, that I had made even a small window of time for one more conversation shared over cup of tea, to have created a moment spent together, however brief. It's the regret of an unmade memory.

Grandma Martha and Kristin...

What we never regret are the times we have spent together. The photo above captured one of those special times. I took this picture of my grandma and my cousin. It was a such happy day. Grandma was thrilled to have some of her grand-kids visiting, and we were enjoying it just as much as she did. Their smiles say it all, and this precious moment lives as a treasured "made" memory.

© 05May2014 ajj

Things We Take For Granted...

There are things I often take for granted. Oddly, my health is one of them. Even with the struggles I've had, I still forget it's something to be thankful for, to be cared for and nurtured. Over the past couple of months, I've had some big reminders as I struggle against some setbacks.

Time with family is another. When everyone is around, I tend to forget to focus on the moments as they're happening. I get wrapped up in the busyness of activity. I need to remember to be taking those mental snapshots, pasting them into my memory. Physical photos can disappear, but the things we carry in our hearts remain with us.

Since Valentine's Day is approaching, I've been thinking about the things I love and what I hold dear. My greatest treasures are my husband and my sons. Each one is irreplaceable. Each one is unique. Each one is loved. I don't often try to put my love for them into words. It's not easy to describe adequately, but they are my heart! I love them beyond measure, beyond words, beyond anything else in my life. If I had nothing else in this life, they would be more than enough!

Gorgeous Day!

Brrrr, it's 46 outside this morning, and I'm loving it!  This feels like autumn!  I don't know about you, but we are heading into my favorite time of year.  Cold nights, crisp cool days, the changing of nature's colors, holidays to look forward to.  I love it!

Some favorite autumn memories involve leaves; the grand canopies of reds, golds, oranges, and browns; the sounds as the wind moved through them; as a child, tracing the shapes for school art projects or just for fun; the raking, then the jumping into the neat little mountains, and raking again; the smell of burning leaves once the mountains were deposited in our burn barrels.  Since I live in a subdivision burn barrels are not allowed, but I fully intend to "barbecue" a couple of leaves just for the ambiance.  So, while many of my friends grieve the passing of the hot, summer sun, I'm reveling in the pleasures of autumn!

I'll leave you with this image my husband captured last year...