Dealing With Loss...

Here is another draft from 2019. I find it is still relevant, as several friends have been dealing with loss in recent months. There are also times when grief over the loss of a parent, other family member, or dear friend is triggered once again, even when it was years ago. The pain resurfaces and we feel it all over again. At those times, these same suggestions would be helpful to remember.

Originally Written: July 15, 2019 3:05 PM 

I wrote this in a comment to an acquaintance, who recently lost her father, in answer to her question, "What do you do to take care of yourself, to emotionally heal, during your roughest times?"

"I don't really have anything new to add to all these great suggestions. During loss, I kept pushing myself through the necessary tasks of life. I believe that was helpful, but it was also very important to have moments of allowing the grief to flow out of me through tears and time to get lost in the memories. I wrote about my feelings, I searched through photos and videos, I donated to charities in remembrance, I gave myself permission to take time to sit quietly and just let the feelings wash through me.

My belief is our loved ones are very present with us for a time, if we allow ourselves to connect. Even if a person doesn't believe in spirit connection, there is much to be said for the power of memory. Close your eyes and feel the memory of their smile, hugs, voice, the very essence of who they were to you. One of my favorite suggestions, in the earlier comments, is creating a special memory place in your Secret Garden. A corner for your dad, a place to sit and remember. Fill it with the joyful memories. Fill it with color. Let the tears release your pain, until they become tears of joy and laughter."