Visitation...

Today is my mom's birthday. I miss her most days, but even more on special days like today, because we usually spent time together celebrating.

An old, faded Polaroid of my mom, back in the 6o's. She was so pretty!

Those who don't believe in spirit visitation may want to stop reading now...

I was trying to get myself ready to go to church service, even though I didn't feel well. It's what my mom would have done. It didn't happen. Then I heard steps coming down the hallway, but all the doors were closed and nobody was in sight. Must be mom, I thought to myself, with a smile. Instead of pushing myself to go, I picked up my Bible, which belonged to my mother before it was mine.  There are still some notes she wrote during church services tucked inside it. I read a few scriptures she had notated. I thought about Biblical rules versus grace. Many things in my life have evolved over the years. My faith in God is still as strong, but I have less tolerance for extreme views and for condemnation of others. I believe in leaving judgement to God, living the best I know how, and loving others as unconditionally as my human mind can manage to do.

As I sat thinking about what I've been taught over the years. I thought about the mind-set many Christians have towards those who don't share their exact point of view. I said to myself, "I refuse to be mean and unforgiving." Suddenly the three-way light across the room, clicked and turned up a notch. For a moment the room was flooded with an extra bright light, then it went back to normal. I felt my mom in the room. My mom, who loved people and refused to judge them or their life choices. Mom, who taught me to love even the unloveable. All the way from stray cats and dogs, to homeless people on the streets, to those who were defined by others as sinners. No one was beyond deserving her love and understanding. There was never a "lost cause" anywhere she looked. Just love and forgiveness. That doesn't mean she wasn't tried on occasion. It doesn't mean it was always easy. It means she took the effort to love, to set aside anger and judgement, and to extend herself beyond what our human nature often does. She offered a smile and a hand up! I learned some of my best lessons from my mother. I was truly blessed to have her in my life, and I am still being blessed! Happy Birthday, mom!

© 22Mar2015 ajj

This moved me...

I was deciding whether to blog today or not, then I read this beautiful post.  It's written by Julia, of The Four of Us.  It's about how forgiveness, and what it can do... I don't want to try and tell you, just please go... read it.  It's beautiful.  Click this link:

The Four of Us:  Forgiveness

"Nobody can make you feel inferior

without your permission."
~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Do you ever give people "permission" to make you feel a certain way? I know I have. Sometimes in the glaring "critique" of someone else's eyes or words, I've allowed myself to become inferior. So, the fault does not lie at the feet of the other person, it lies in my heart. And the word, lies, can be taken either way... to rest with me... or to deceive me.

I can't remember the exact moment I realized this truth. I do know, from that moment on, I took hold of an inner peace I'd never had before. It's as if the curtains were thrown wide open. No matter what someone else may think or feel about me, it is important to find out what I think of me.

I must have my own moral compass; that compass must be tempered by what I believe to be true. My moral compass tells me I have to be responsible to my heavenly Father. I must do my best to share His love and compassion to others; to extend His forgiveness, His strength, His word.

I am not a minister, or a teacher. I am not a Bible scholar, or a prophet. I am a believer, and as a believer I must be aware of my opportunities to touch another heart. It was a big step when I realized, I have been given control over certain deceiving emotions. With Christ dwelling in my heart, who should I feel inferior to? If I love the Lord, I must love myself as He loved me. And, in loving myself, it frees me to love others as Christ loves them.

It is a beautiful gift to recognize I do not walk alone; therefore, I can release any threads of inferiority that threaten to bring me down. I am so blessed...


Copyright November 17, 2009 ajj