My imagination has been such an active part of who I am. I'm fascinated by what may come. What could happen? What will happen? The past has always called to me as well. I've imagined hundreds of different lives and wondered what it would have been like to be one of those interesting women.
In recent years, I turned that imagination about the past into actual research about my own ancestors. It's been fulfilling and fun. There's still so much I haven't been able to uncover, so my search continues.
My home is filled with bits and pieces of memories. I've been reluctant to part with items which trigger such strong imagery and feelings, but I've done quite a bit of parting over the past year or two. Yesterday I began going through some boxes of things. Odd assortments of photographs, vintage valentines, jewelry, knickknacks... junk to many, treasure to me. I still find it hard to separate the memories and the imaginings from the items. Is this what triggers all other keepers of things? Those labeled hoarders. Those disdained by the very neat and tidy masses? Thankfully, for me, it's not food or animals, but it's a wild assortment of so many other things.
My mama saved my first grade artwork, my dresses, shoes, even books which were left behind when I was sent to live with grandma and grandpa. She tucked them away in old suitcases and boxes, saving them for a day when we could look at them together and share a laugh and a memory. I don't know why I'm saving her treasures. I'll never get to sit with her, holding one in my hand and say, "Remember when..." or hear her giggle over any of it. When I do hold one of these things, I am transported back in a way nothing else can do. I'm there again, and she is with me, and my world seems a little more complete.
© 26Jan2016 ajj
Showing posts with label momma. Show all posts
Showing posts with label momma. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Sunday, May 10, 2015
A Mother's Day Tale, Both Sad and Happy...
Every year a momma duck nests in our yard. I have dreaded it this year, because the road directly behind our house is under construction. It's being widened to four lanes. The momma ducks always insist on crossing the road rather than walking down to the canal on our side. Maybe they dislike swimming under the bridge to get to their favorite side of the canal.
This year three or four duck couples have been visiting and dining below our bird feeder. Sadly, one of the males was hit about three weeks ago. The widow sat for hours in our yard, and didn't even seem to be leaving to go to her nest. She finally began to disappear and show up occasionally to eat.
Early this morning, there were only three males out back. I knew that it was close to time for ducklings to arrive.
My husband and I were relaxing about an hour ago, watching TV and just enjoying Mother's Day. There was a knock at the door. A distraught man was there. One of the momma ducks had jumped right in front of his car. She was dead and the ducklings had run back up the berm and into our yard. He and his wife began to help us try to herd the 8 little ducklings into a box. Right! They were so fast, and "shouting" warnings to one another. Another of the duck couples was sitting under a tree and began to move away from the action. The ducklings tried to follow them, but they didn't seem interested in adopting a passel of babies. I'm sure she has a nest of her own out front in among the irises.
Ducklings were darting everywhere! Two headed back toward the road, two into the gigantic rhubarb stalks, two under the fence. The neighbors south of us got into the recovery and returned the two from their yard. It took a lot of energy, but we finally had all eight.
My husband closed the top of the box and headed to the canal. We felt their best chance was in the water, where all the ducks gather when their eggs have hatched. He could only access one side of the canal, and he could see another couple with about 8 of their own. He waited for them to calm down, then gently let our 8 into the water. They immediately heard the other momma and headed for her, but she wasn't sure and quacked at them. They stopped and waited. Then all floated under the bridge. By the time my husband got to the other side, she had accepted the additional 8! The duck couple was last seen swimming happily away with 16 ducklings!
My husband took care of burying the momma, which was so sad, but all of her ducklings survived this Mother's Day. I also survived it, and I'm praying by next spring the road construction is complete. I'm also hoping the ducks will chose a nesting area closer to the canal!
Wishing you all a very Happy Mother's Day!
© 10May2015 ajj
This year three or four duck couples have been visiting and dining below our bird feeder. Sadly, one of the males was hit about three weeks ago. The widow sat for hours in our yard, and didn't even seem to be leaving to go to her nest. She finally began to disappear and show up occasionally to eat.
Early this morning, there were only three males out back. I knew that it was close to time for ducklings to arrive.
My husband and I were relaxing about an hour ago, watching TV and just enjoying Mother's Day. There was a knock at the door. A distraught man was there. One of the momma ducks had jumped right in front of his car. She was dead and the ducklings had run back up the berm and into our yard. He and his wife began to help us try to herd the 8 little ducklings into a box. Right! They were so fast, and "shouting" warnings to one another. Another of the duck couples was sitting under a tree and began to move away from the action. The ducklings tried to follow them, but they didn't seem interested in adopting a passel of babies. I'm sure she has a nest of her own out front in among the irises.
Ducklings were darting everywhere! Two headed back toward the road, two into the gigantic rhubarb stalks, two under the fence. The neighbors south of us got into the recovery and returned the two from their yard. It took a lot of energy, but we finally had all eight.
My husband closed the top of the box and headed to the canal. We felt their best chance was in the water, where all the ducks gather when their eggs have hatched. He could only access one side of the canal, and he could see another couple with about 8 of their own. He waited for them to calm down, then gently let our 8 into the water. They immediately heard the other momma and headed for her, but she wasn't sure and quacked at them. They stopped and waited. Then all floated under the bridge. By the time my husband got to the other side, she had accepted the additional 8! The duck couple was last seen swimming happily away with 16 ducklings!
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| This is momma and ducklings from 2011. No pictures from today. |
My husband took care of burying the momma, which was so sad, but all of her ducklings survived this Mother's Day. I also survived it, and I'm praying by next spring the road construction is complete. I'm also hoping the ducks will chose a nesting area closer to the canal!
Wishing you all a very Happy Mother's Day!
© 10May2015 ajj
Sunday, March 22, 2015
Visitation...
Today is my mom's birthday. I miss her most days, but even more on special days like today, because we usually spent time together celebrating.
Those who don't believe in spirit visitation may want to stop reading now...
I was trying to get myself ready to go to church service, even though I didn't feel well. It's what my mom would have done. It didn't happen. Then I heard steps coming down the hallway, but all the doors were closed and nobody was in sight. Must be mom, I thought to myself, with a smile. Instead of pushing myself to go, I picked up my Bible, which belonged to my mother before it was mine. There are still some notes she wrote during church services tucked inside it. I read a few scriptures she had notated. I thought about Biblical rules versus grace. Many things in my life have evolved over the years. My faith in God is still as strong, but I have less tolerance for extreme views and for condemnation of others. I believe in leaving judgement to God, living the best I know how, and loving others as unconditionally as my human mind can manage to do.
As I sat thinking about what I've been taught over the years. I thought about the mind-set many Christians have towards those who don't share their exact point of view. I said to myself, "I refuse to be mean and unforgiving." Suddenly the three-way light across the room, clicked and turned up a notch. For a moment the room was flooded with an extra bright light, then it went back to normal. I felt my mom in the room. My mom, who loved people and refused to judge them or their life choices. Mom, who taught me to love even the unloveable. All the way from stray cats and dogs, to homeless people on the streets, to those who were defined by others as sinners. No one was beyond deserving her love and understanding. There was never a "lost cause" anywhere she looked. Just love and forgiveness. That doesn't mean she wasn't tried on occasion. It doesn't mean it was always easy. It means she took the effort to love, to set aside anger and judgement, and to extend herself beyond what our human nature often does. She offered a smile and a hand up! I learned some of my best lessons from my mother. I was truly blessed to have her in my life, and I am still being blessed! Happy Birthday, mom!
© 22Mar2015 ajj
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| An old, faded Polaroid of my mom, back in the 6o's. She was so pretty! |
Those who don't believe in spirit visitation may want to stop reading now...
I was trying to get myself ready to go to church service, even though I didn't feel well. It's what my mom would have done. It didn't happen. Then I heard steps coming down the hallway, but all the doors were closed and nobody was in sight. Must be mom, I thought to myself, with a smile. Instead of pushing myself to go, I picked up my Bible, which belonged to my mother before it was mine. There are still some notes she wrote during church services tucked inside it. I read a few scriptures she had notated. I thought about Biblical rules versus grace. Many things in my life have evolved over the years. My faith in God is still as strong, but I have less tolerance for extreme views and for condemnation of others. I believe in leaving judgement to God, living the best I know how, and loving others as unconditionally as my human mind can manage to do.
As I sat thinking about what I've been taught over the years. I thought about the mind-set many Christians have towards those who don't share their exact point of view. I said to myself, "I refuse to be mean and unforgiving." Suddenly the three-way light across the room, clicked and turned up a notch. For a moment the room was flooded with an extra bright light, then it went back to normal. I felt my mom in the room. My mom, who loved people and refused to judge them or their life choices. Mom, who taught me to love even the unloveable. All the way from stray cats and dogs, to homeless people on the streets, to those who were defined by others as sinners. No one was beyond deserving her love and understanding. There was never a "lost cause" anywhere she looked. Just love and forgiveness. That doesn't mean she wasn't tried on occasion. It doesn't mean it was always easy. It means she took the effort to love, to set aside anger and judgement, and to extend herself beyond what our human nature often does. She offered a smile and a hand up! I learned some of my best lessons from my mother. I was truly blessed to have her in my life, and I am still being blessed! Happy Birthday, mom!
© 22Mar2015 ajj
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Another Year...
Today is my mom's birthday, and I'm surprised at how quickly another year has slipped away. Mom would have been 76, and has been gone almost 11 years. I still miss her, and yet she remains close in my thoughts and my heart. I love this photo of her, and thought I'd share it again. I originally shared it in this previous post... Two Years of Blogging
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| My Beautiful Mom... |
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
February - It's About Relatives
The February prompt for NaBloPoMo is Relative. They're also posting a daily prompt on weekdays, weekends are free writing. If you're interested in the daily prompts, go HERE. There is no pressure to follow them, the main thing is to just keep writing every day. The one suggested for today is "mother" and I've written a lot about my two mothers. If you scroll down to my Labels List, you can select stories to read about both of them. They are under mom, momma, and grandma. In fact, I just added them to the labels at the bottom of this post to make it easier. Did you know you can click on a label, and you go right to the posts on that subject? It took me a while to figure that out when I first began blogging.
Even before I knew that the prompt was to be Relative, I'd been thinking about family. A couple days ago, I started pooling photos into a "Siblings" album. I have quite a few siblings. My lil sis and I share the same mother and father, but there were also half brothers, half sisters, step brothers and a step sister. Two half brothers are no longer with us. Donnie was the baby. He passed on very young from Leukemia. I have such strong memories of those last days with him. He didn't live with us, but when he became so ill, Dad brought the boys over more often. I remember the bruises on his little arms. I asked grandma why he had so many and heard the word "transfusions" for the first time. He was so sweet, and his journey in this life was too short. I imagined arms of ancestors wide open, waiting for him. I did wonder if I'd prayed harder, would God have let him stay. I was ten years old.
My brother Tommy also left this life before I was ready. I've written about him several times before. The labels are Tom, Tommy, and Brother. I still miss him. Some days it hurts to think about him. Most days I have peace because I believe he is with others I love, just out of sight, in that spiritual world we cannot see with our human eyes.
Our siblings play such important parts in our lives. They are pieces of the puzzle that make us who we are. I love every one of mine and am thankful my life was blessed with them.
© 01FEB2012 ajj
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| Donnie & big brother Ronnie |
Even before I knew that the prompt was to be Relative, I'd been thinking about family. A couple days ago, I started pooling photos into a "Siblings" album. I have quite a few siblings. My lil sis and I share the same mother and father, but there were also half brothers, half sisters, step brothers and a step sister. Two half brothers are no longer with us. Donnie was the baby. He passed on very young from Leukemia. I have such strong memories of those last days with him. He didn't live with us, but when he became so ill, Dad brought the boys over more often. I remember the bruises on his little arms. I asked grandma why he had so many and heard the word "transfusions" for the first time. He was so sweet, and his journey in this life was too short. I imagined arms of ancestors wide open, waiting for him. I did wonder if I'd prayed harder, would God have let him stay. I was ten years old.
My brother Tommy also left this life before I was ready. I've written about him several times before. The labels are Tom, Tommy, and Brother. I still miss him. Some days it hurts to think about him. Most days I have peace because I believe he is with others I love, just out of sight, in that spiritual world we cannot see with our human eyes.
Our siblings play such important parts in our lives. They are pieces of the puzzle that make us who we are. I love every one of mine and am thankful my life was blessed with them.
© 01FEB2012 ajj
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Day 5 of Beginnings - My New Obsession
I recently got hooked on PINTEREST. It began with seeing the little button on some fellow blogger's sidebar. Before long a couple of my FB friends were talking about it, so I wandered over to check it out. I love it! It's like a combination of collecting, list making, bulletin boards, or saving pages from favorite magazines, all combined in one place.
I can visualize things I dream about like travel, art, and photography. There are ideas on home decor, cooking, crafts, fashion, and so much more. I've found images of things I remember from my childhood. There are photos of my current style of decorating and photos of my dream style. It's had the effect of waking up parts of my personality and history that I'd forgotten about.
Today I found an image of vintage Bingo cards. It took me right back to my mom's tiny kitchen when I was about 6 years old. I was seated at the table with a Bingo card and some buttons. The numbers were being called out over the radio. The sun was streaming in through the small window over the sink. Beside the sink, on the wall, was a little Dutch girl memo pad that I'd made at school. Her apron was the note pad and above it was a paper tube with a short pencil in it. Those little pencils that used to come with board games. My momma loved that memo pad. My new hobby took me on a surprise visit back to my childhood. I can't wait to see where it will take me tomorrow.
© 05JAN12 ajj
I can visualize things I dream about like travel, art, and photography. There are ideas on home decor, cooking, crafts, fashion, and so much more. I've found images of things I remember from my childhood. There are photos of my current style of decorating and photos of my dream style. It's had the effect of waking up parts of my personality and history that I'd forgotten about.
Today I found an image of vintage Bingo cards. It took me right back to my mom's tiny kitchen when I was about 6 years old. I was seated at the table with a Bingo card and some buttons. The numbers were being called out over the radio. The sun was streaming in through the small window over the sink. Beside the sink, on the wall, was a little Dutch girl memo pad that I'd made at school. Her apron was the note pad and above it was a paper tube with a short pencil in it. Those little pencils that used to come with board games. My momma loved that memo pad. My new hobby took me on a surprise visit back to my childhood. I can't wait to see where it will take me tomorrow.
© 05JAN12 ajj
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Mother's Day... Remembering each of them...
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| My momma and me... |
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| Momma always took in any stray and found them a home! |
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| PJ and his mom... my mom-in-law |
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| My boys and their Grandma VJ |
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| My grandma and me... |
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| And in later years... |
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| My other grandma and her sister... |
No longer here... but never forgotten...
Wishing each of you a beautiful Mother's Day!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Sunday Scribblings #258 - Big
"Momma, wait" she cried, running to keep up. There were funny people all around, scary, leering with their white faces and crazy grins. Momma put her hand behind her, grasping the tiny fingers, and glancing over her shoulder, with a smile for her little one. "This is fun" she laughed, "Just look at all the pretty colors." Eyes wide, the little girl looked around at the big world full of big things. It all looked frightening to her. From the clowns, to the tent, to the wagons holding the tigers and bears, it was all too much to take in. Little did she know that one day, because her Momma had spent this day with her, just the thought of a circus would make her tremble with happiness, clear down to her toes.
© 27March2011 ajj
© 27March2011 ajj
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