Plans and Changes...

The one thing I can always count on is change. I never put too much trust in plans, because my experience has been they often fall through or at least pan out differently than expected.

Our youngest was set to graduate from college, then right at the beginning of finals a couple weeks ago, he took ill. Some kind of vengeful, viral flu. After trying to push through anyway, he finally had to take the recommendation of professors, counselor, and the nurse, and accept he could not finish. His first worry was, it was an automatic failure of those classes, but was greatly relieved to find out the professors chose to give him a postponement. Such good news! It looks like he'll be able to complete exams and final papers without having to return in the fall. Either way, I believe things work out the way they are meant to. It's just hard accepting it when you're in the middle of a major upset to your plans.

Learning to deal with the changes life brings, is an opportunity for growth. You learn to slow down, reassess, and move forward in a different direction. You become aware change does not mean defeat or failure, but rather another way of achieving your goals. Sounds great doesn't it? Now, I just need to remind myself of this when the next big change comes my way. One thing is certain, changes will always keep coming.


© 22May2016 ajj

Beautiful Day...

It has been a lovely Saturday. I spent some time chatting with my oldest son about school, movies, life, etc. I edited photos for my youngest son's upcoming college graduation. Laundry is finished and put away. Checked Facebook, but nothing too interesting there. Read a couple chapters in the current novel I'm reading. Now here I am, following through on writing a few words each day.

Yesterday, I discovered we have ducks nesting in the front flower bed again. Oh dear! I was hoping they would find a less "high traffic" place to do this. The road behind us, which they have to cross with their ducklings, is now four lanes instead of two. I don't even want to think about it...

Last evening, my oldest son had his dad and me watch the most recent Star Wars movie. It was so good! It took me back to when I saw the original back in 1977! Action, humor, surprises! I was shocked at the loss of one of my favorites, but I will refrain from naming them. I'm sure I'm not the only one who hadn't seen this movie yet, and I'd hate to post a spoiler. For me, the Star Wars magic was finally back, and I'm looking forward to seeing what else they may have in store for us!

Oops... It's Poetry Month...

First of all, how did April get here so fast? I was going to have some new poems written, or have some favorite poems and poets picked out, to grace my blog for the month. Did not get any of it done. I'll try to get some up by first of next week.

My mind is swirling with all the things I need to accomplish in the next 6 weeks. My youngest, EJ, is graduating from college! I didn't even think to get a formal photo done. I really stink at these kinds of things. He didn't think of it either... nut...tree... you get it, so he took a selfie for the college yearbook photo. That's how we roll! Haha!

I'm trying to pull together a plan for celebrating this wonderful milestone in his life, choose the venue, get announcements quickly ordered, and figure out how to make myself look at least 40 lbs. slimmer for the expected family photos... just a tiny miracle or two will be needed to pull it all off! Thankfully, EJ is a very laid back fellow and really doesn't want a big party. Something simple, with only the closest friends and family. It still raises my anxiety a bit, but in a good way. I'm really looking forward to this next step in his life's journey!

My Saturday...

I have had a somewhat productive Saturday. While my husband is at his favorite car show in Emmett, Idaho, I've been sorting through boxes of keepsakes and dividing them into keep, donate, or sell stacks.

In the background I've been listening to some Martha Stewart Christmas programs on Hulu. It's the perfect time of year to be creating handmade cards, ornaments and gifts, so they're done well before the holidays arrive. Right now Aretha Franklin is singing "Silent Night" and I can't help but think of mom, who would pull out Christmas movies every summer during the July heat.
"Sleep in Heavenly Peace" Oh my, nobody can sing it quite like Aretha!

MJ is off to a summer luau with friends. EJ is hanging around here and has offered to help me bake a batch of cookies to send to church camp, for the kids to enjoy this coming week.

I'm having a great Saturday. As Martha would say, it's a good thing!

Things We Take For Granted...

There are things I often take for granted. Oddly, my health is one of them. Even with the struggles I've had, I still forget it's something to be thankful for, to be cared for and nurtured. Over the past couple of months, I've had some big reminders as I struggle against some setbacks.

Time with family is another. When everyone is around, I tend to forget to focus on the moments as they're happening. I get wrapped up in the busyness of activity. I need to remember to be taking those mental snapshots, pasting them into my memory. Physical photos can disappear, but the things we carry in our hearts remain with us.

Since Valentine's Day is approaching, I've been thinking about the things I love and what I hold dear. My greatest treasures are my husband and my sons. Each one is irreplaceable. Each one is unique. Each one is loved. I don't often try to put my love for them into words. It's not easy to describe adequately, but they are my heart! I love them beyond measure, beyond words, beyond anything else in my life. If I had nothing else in this life, they would be more than enough!

Move In Day!

Tomorrow is "Move in day" for my youngest son.  Even though he won't be terribly far away, it's going to be so strange to have an empty nest.  My emotions have been on a crazy roller coaster for the past two weeks. I felt well enough to get out and make a couple "dorm shopping" trips with him.  Fun!  He and my husband are out on the very last shopping excursion, as we forgot new sheets, a lamp, and a shower caddy... rather important items!

This was from our visit to the campus last July!

Being the OCD personality that I am, I've had to wash every new item purchased.  I lost count of how many loads of laundry I've done in the past two days, and as soon as those sheets come in the door they'll go right into the washer!  When I told my husband I had to wash our son's sleeping bag (it hadn't been used all year and was in a box in the garage), he just snorted. Honestly, I'm so lucky he puts up with me!  Anyway, it was in the dryer for an hour and still not dry, so I just draped it over two lawn chairs.  If any of nature's critters dirties that bag, there will be heck to pay!  It may have a slight wildfire smoky odor, but we've lived with the smoke smells for so long that EJ will probably not notice. It's got to be better than stale, garage odor... right?  He has to have it for the two day Wilderness Experience that all freshman are required to attend.  Praying that there will be no problems with wildfires or excessive smoke blowing over into the area they'll be in.  It's near McCall, Idaho, and is such a beautiful place!

My oldest, MJ!

My oldest son, MJ, started classes last Monday.  After working a few years, he decided it was time to get back to school.  He's studying at BSU, while working full-time.  I'm so happy for them, and so proud!  I still don't know where all the years have gone.  Friends are always asking me why my boys are so nice, and how did I get to be so lucky that they never gave me any trouble.  Well, I don't know.  PJ and I certainly did our best, but really, they are just kind-hearted, wonderful men.  I prayed for boys who would have kind hearts, like my grandpa and like their dad... my prayers were answered.

So many seasons, so many memories.  Too many to post, but here are a couple of photos from their childhood days...

So many summers...

And winters

I'll be back after the big move-in weekend, with some new memories made to add to the thousands I already hold in my heart, and I'll let you know how it went.

Live Well...

I am overwhelmed with emotions today.  It's snowing on this first day of spring.  My heart is still sad over the loss of my father-in-law, and all that we will never get to share with him.  We were waiting to have a graduation celebration, for my youngest, until spring.  He received his High School Diploma last autumn, but we wanted the weather to be nice so his grandpa might be able to come.

My father-in-law always wanted his grandsons to go to college.  My youngest received confirmation he was accepted into college two days after his grandpa's passing.  My oldest son had decided to return to college in the fall and was working on the paperwork.  We never got the chance to share any of this with their grandpa.  He would be so proud.

When loss comes, there are always things left unsaid, undone.  We move through the stages of loss and acceptance, and ultimately realize it wouldn't matter when the loss occurred.  We will always have more we wanted to share with those we loved.

The best tribute we can give is to live our lives fully, completely.  Just get out there.  Accomplish our dreams.  Live well.  Appreciate life, and love every day we are given.

 © 20MAR2012 aj

It's December, and Changes Just Keep Coming...

My  heart is going so many directions today.  I'm just getting over a flu bug.  It decided to hit the day I brought my husband home from the hospital.  He had two hernias repaired.  He's been in quite a bit of pain.  You forget how much you use some of those lower abdominal muscles.  He's doing much better today, as am I.  It's strange to have PJ out of commission, he's one of those guys that rarely gets sick and always likes to be busy.  Now that he's in less pain, maybe he can enjoy the two weeks at home.  He'll have time to caught up on some reading and watch some of those movies he hasn't gotten to see.

My youngest son received his High School Diploma this fall.  It was a long journey for him, overcoming illness and delays.  We still haven't planned a celebration, but hope to do that in the spring.  He is looking at schools and making decisions on what he wants to do.  He is still very interested in computer engineering, producing videos, and continuing with his cello.  Recently, he built his own PC!  It has all the bells and whistles that he's always wanted.  He's also started a fitness plan and is dropping weight!  I may have to hire him as my trainer.  Maybe after the holidays are over with. 

My youngest, EJ, building his own computer!

My oldest son was living with us for the past few months.  He found a roommate that he gets along with very well, and they found their dream apartment.  It's in the upstairs of an old home.  It's so nice.  He moved over Thanksgiving weekend.  I'm thankful that he's just in the next town.  He already told me he plans to come to our home for Christmas Eve and spent the night!  I'm glad of that.  I'm not quite ready to give up my Christmas mornings with my boys.  I will probably never be.

My niece leaves for Seattle on Friday morning.  I'm going to miss her so much.  She's been my Gilmore Girls and movie buddy.  It just won't be the same without her around.  I'm definitely going to feel it on Christmas Eve, which is our traditional holiday time together.  She's rooming with her sis and friends, so she already has a home waiting.  She'll be joining the music scene in Seattle, and I hope this will jump start a career for her.  She has awesome talent!

Speaking of Christmas, I have to share this YouTube video.  This is my cousin, Laurie and honorary cousin, Tammy.  They created a Christmas CD last year, and this is one of the songs from it.  Don't forget to pause my Playlist first.  This is one of my very favorite Christmas songs.  I hope it blesses you.

Mother's Day... Remembering each of them...

My momma and me...

Momma always took in any stray and found them a home!

PJ and his mom... my mom-in-law

My boys and their Grandma VJ

My grandma and me...

And in later years...

My other grandma and her sister...

No longer here... but never forgotten...

Wishing each of you a beautiful Mother's Day!

Happy 18th Birthday to my Lucky 13!

I posted a "mother" poem yesterday.  Today, I am celebrating my baby's 18th birthday.  He is no baby... actually, never really was after about the age of two.  He has always seemed "tuned in to the world around him.  He had those eyes... brown, dark, people said "He looks at you like an old soul" and, he did. Our Lucky 13... EJ, he learned so easily, reading when he was barely 4 years old. Well, that's when he told me he could read!  I didn't believe him and picked up a book.  "Read this then" I said.  He read it all, smoothly and clearly, and every other page I picked out.  I was stunned!  

 My little Lucky 13 and I... a long time ago

We had always read to him, even his big brother had pointed out words to him.  Sometime before the day he told me he could read, he had drawn a cat on their little blackboard and spelled "cat".  When he showed it to me, I asked how he knew how to spell it... "My brain told me" he replied.  


Even without those things, our youngest is special to his family and his friends.  He's weathered a lot of loss, illness, and more in his 18 years.  He keeps those things to himself.  I believe he has an inner strength that he doesn't even fully realize yet.  

Here he is fishing with his older brother and Grandpa

He has so much creativity.  He has a wonderful, unique sense of humor.  He has a talent for music.  I always loved hearing him play his Cello.  He doesn't play as often, but still loves music.


I know folks get weary of hearing people brag on their children, so please indulge me today... this wonderful day, as I look back over the years.  If my own PC wasn't down today, I'd be posting a lot of pictures.  I'm using EJ's PC, and there very few photos on it yet.  Anyway, I want to say how blessed I am.  I prayed for children years ago, after being told I might never have them.  God gave me two wonderful sons, different and yet, so alike.


My family has been blessed by having our Lucky 13 in our lives.  God knew we needed this child... who is now a man, in our lives.  Happy Birthday son!  Our "Lucky 13"!

An Empty Room...

I hope you're having a wonderful St. Patrick's Day!  As I visited several blogs today, I discovered that the yucky cold/sinus stuff that's hit my house is getting folks down all over the country.  I hope it's just a last swipe of winter, because...

It certainly feels like spring today.  The sun is shining brightly, there's a crisp breeze, and the birds are singing and building nests!  Beautiful!

I have an empty room in my house.  Number one son, MJ, has moved to Boise.  The offer came unexpectedly, and even though he's been sick he jumped at the chance.  He's renting a room from a friend, her two sisters, and her two little Boston Terriers, Milo and Pete!  Thankfully, he has an amazing group of friends.  They showed up with two trucks, and did almost all of the loading and unloading.  He's pretty much settled in.

Now, what to do with the room.  I had all kinds of ideas before he moved, but last night I just sat in his room in the leather chair he decided to leave behind.  I let my mind wander back over the years.  What a blessing MJ has been in my life... in our lives!  I know many people who just couldn't take one more minute with their children, and were so happy to see them gone.  I am happy to see him take this next step on his life's journey, but I would have been just as happy for him to stay a bit longer.  That's because he's brought us so much joy!  He's got such a caring heart.  I can't wait to see where life takes him.

As for the room... I'm ready now to put it to use.  It will be a combo room for photo storage, art projects; crafts in progress, office, and if we can find a reasonably priced TV... a gaming room.  That way, when EJ has friends over or when MJ comes to visit, they'll have a place to hang out.  Change comes whether we're ready or not, but that's what makes life so interesting.  Embrace change!

Reflections on Trials and Faith

Well, it's been a long, long week. I am still dealing with MS issues, even with the three day course of steroid infusion. My youngest son has now missed 6 days of school... not a great way to start his Senior year. This is likely a continuation of the Epstein Barr Virus he got in the spring. He had to have further bloodwork done yesterday and has at least one upcoming medical test.

The mind hears littles whispers... why would God??? where are the miracles??? what have I done wrong???

My spirit just keeps reaching out to God believing, and knowing, all is not lost. We are not forgotten. Life sometimes just is what it is, and we are expected to make the best of what we are given. Like the story of three who were given talents from the Master, if we are given only one, we are still expected to make the most of it.

If my eyesight fails further, I have my boys who would proof-read my writing for me; I have a husband who will make sure I get where I need to go, and keep me safe; I have friends and family to talk to; I have ears to hear books on tape and beautiful music. I have a voice to encourage my boys when their lives seem to be unbearable. To say to them, "Faith will see you through even this... and one day you will look back on all the challenges and adventures of your lives and thank your Heavenly Father for all He has done for you! In the mean time, do not be discouraged. Make the most of what you have been given."



Copyright 09-25-09 ajj

Incorrigible Bragging... and the Tasmanian Devil...

Good afternoon! Thursday was an amazing day. I had an early lunch with my little sis, and my cousin, Laurie. We had lots to talk about! My nephew recently graduated from the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in LA. We're all so proud of him. Here are a couple of recent photos.

Of course, we think he is just wonderful! We look forward to seeing where his career will take him!

My sis, my cousin, and I always have a fun time getting together, reminiscing, and sharing what's new in our lives. My sis spends much of her free time involved with the local film and theatre community. She's done some acting, some behind the scenes work... just whatever they ask of her. She loves it. As you can see from the pictures, it runs in the family.

I've talked about Laurie before. Her new CD is wonderful, as was her first. If you click on the title of her CD, "Perhaps God", over to the right side of my blog, it will take you to CDBaby.com where you can hear samples of her work. You can also read about who she is, and there is a link to her first CD. I will probably bring up her music again, because I think it is so inspiring and I'd like people to get to know this amazing Christian artist. If you want to read my former blog about the cd, it's called Perhaps God and was posted June 12, 2008.

Ok... enough bragging, though it is well deserved...

Our kitty is driving me to distraction. She is unhappy that my oldest son is rarely here. He is the one who rescued her from being sent to the local animal shelter. Her owner abandoned her at the veterinarian office where MJ used to work. He fell for her sweet, quiet ways. Now, she "meows" with sad abandon at the door to his empty room. It's alternately sweet and annoying.

Poor Mooska. MJ now works longer hours doing graphics for a local news station. She tries to get some attention from my younger son, EJ, but he keeps himself very busy too. Mooska is letting me know by her pitiful crys. When she's not doing that, she is wrapped around my ankles. I've nearly fallen on my face while trying to avoid stepping on her. She whips around my ankles like a whirling dervish... think Tasmanian Devil.

I warned her last night that if I do fall, she will be certainly crushed to death under the weight of a 50 something, XL, somewhat irritated, mom of two. She threw me a rather nasty look. Really. I know you all think I'm the nutty one of the two (after all, I'm conversing with my cat), but I'm sure she was giving me "the look". The one we gave our kids when we were trying to keep them quiet in church, or from misbehaving in a crowded restaurant.


Well, on that thought I bid you a happy, blessed day!