This morning was my monthly ladies group from church. We met at the IHop for breakfast and conversation. My aunt shared some beautiful thoughts with us about finding joy in the small things rather than just focusing on the big miracles we'd like to see happening, letting go of our insecurities, and using what we have inside to give to others. From a song she wrote some years ago, there is a line:
"...I am nothing in my humanity. But, the Spirit of God who dwells within has a power vested in me."
I may feel insignificant and unable to provide much help to others, but if I have opened my heart to God's love, I find He has equipped me for the moment. When I am called on to give help or encouragement, I know I can draw on His power "vested in me" and it will be more than enough.
Wishing you a day filled with joy!
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
WARNING: This is Not a happy post...
I'm trying to remain positive, but having MS is really getting old! So, if you came here today looking for something cheery... well, you may want to move along, right now, to some happy decorating/cooking/gardening type blog, because I'm getting "beat up" by MS again, and I have to talk about it!
I have been in a downward spiral for some time now. The pain in my lower back and legs was unresponsive to medications, but now that pain has gone. Instead, I have lost feeling in the lower back and most of both legs. My left eye is again swollen, vision blurred, and is being treated with steroid drops.
They (the great "they" of the medical world) are offering me Gilenya. A disease modifying drug, which also happens to have death, heart problems, loss of vision, compromised immune system, etc., to it's short list of "side effects" and I don't have the time, or the stomach, to read any more...
Pray you say? Yes, I have done that, and also have many friends and family praying for me. Awesome! But, God does not always choose to heal people. Even really nice folks like me. I can accept that... sort of. I do believe He loves and understands me... I never doubt that!
Where to go now? What to do? Say "NO" to this drug, and live with the certainty that this disease will continue to tear my brain and my body apart? Say "Yes" and take the risk of leaving my family way before my time... or going blind, which steals my favorite activities from me. Choices. Choices. I do not like these choices, but after this brief "pity party" I will dry my eyes, put my "happy face" back on, and try to pretend that life would never give us way more than we can handle. I'll be back soon, hopefully with a big attitude adjustment and a more optimistic view of life. Till then, be well dear friends!
I have been in a downward spiral for some time now. The pain in my lower back and legs was unresponsive to medications, but now that pain has gone. Instead, I have lost feeling in the lower back and most of both legs. My left eye is again swollen, vision blurred, and is being treated with steroid drops.
They (the great "they" of the medical world) are offering me Gilenya. A disease modifying drug, which also happens to have death, heart problems, loss of vision, compromised immune system, etc., to it's short list of "side effects" and I don't have the time, or the stomach, to read any more...
Pray you say? Yes, I have done that, and also have many friends and family praying for me. Awesome! But, God does not always choose to heal people. Even really nice folks like me. I can accept that... sort of. I do believe He loves and understands me... I never doubt that!
Where to go now? What to do? Say "NO" to this drug, and live with the certainty that this disease will continue to tear my brain and my body apart? Say "Yes" and take the risk of leaving my family way before my time... or going blind, which steals my favorite activities from me. Choices. Choices. I do not like these choices, but after this brief "pity party" I will dry my eyes, put my "happy face" back on, and try to pretend that life would never give us way more than we can handle. I'll be back soon, hopefully with a big attitude adjustment and a more optimistic view of life. Till then, be well dear friends!
Monday, February 6, 2012
Lesson - Sunday Scribblings
For this Sunday Scribblings prompt, I was compelled to look at my roots, my faith. I learned lessons about faith as a young child, and at times struggled with what it really means to me. I've been disappointed in people who proclaimed their Christianity, yet seemed to turn a blind eye to those who were hurting, weak, different, or just not good enough. I've also had to acknowledge that same tendency exists in me. I think we all look at the world through somewhat biased eyes. Our vision is tainted by whatever our teachings have been. I'm on a continuing journey to find who my best self is, while walking in my faith. I hope I'm always growing into a more Godlike person, who leaves the judging to my creator. The most important lesson for me is that I believe in an awesome, loving and forgiving God. My hope is, I remember to treat those I meet along the way with the same love and forgiveness I desire.
The Lesson
One thing, above all else
A lesson, never growing old
One thing to remember
No matter what else you've been told
One thing, lights every darkness
And can heal a broken heart
One thing, that lasts forever
My God, how great Thou art
© 06FEB2012 ajj
Friday, October 7, 2011
Reflections...
Autumn is always a time of reflection for me. Today is especially poignant. October 7th was my grandparents anniversary. They married very young. They weathered so many things that life tossed at them, and made a decision to stay together, through the wonderful and through the sad. That decision wasn't made once, on that long ago wedding day. It was made over, and over again. When the storm winds came, when doubts assailed, when tears fell like autumn rain, they made the decision to stay.
As I look back on my life, I can see where their example influenced my decisions to stick it out. Not easy, but it was right for me. I'm not saying some folks shouldn't part ways. I've seen lives begin again, in beautiful ways, when two people realize they are creating more pain than joy. For me, working through the hard times has made me a stronger, happier person. I have a husband who really knows me. He knows me better than my own family does, and so far, he hasn't run screaming from the house. I am so blessed.
On this crisp, cloudy, beautiful autumn day, I can say that I am happy for the journey. For all of it! Bumps in the road, storms, tears and all. The hard times have made the sweet, even better. Remind me of that, the next time I'm having "one of those days" and am feeling inconsolable. Sunshine and cool breezes are just around the corner. God doesn't leave us... we leave Him... just tell me to turn around and look. He is right there. Love is right there, and it was there all the time.
As I look back on my life, I can see where their example influenced my decisions to stick it out. Not easy, but it was right for me. I'm not saying some folks shouldn't part ways. I've seen lives begin again, in beautiful ways, when two people realize they are creating more pain than joy. For me, working through the hard times has made me a stronger, happier person. I have a husband who really knows me. He knows me better than my own family does, and so far, he hasn't run screaming from the house. I am so blessed.
On this crisp, cloudy, beautiful autumn day, I can say that I am happy for the journey. For all of it! Bumps in the road, storms, tears and all. The hard times have made the sweet, even better. Remind me of that, the next time I'm having "one of those days" and am feeling inconsolable. Sunshine and cool breezes are just around the corner. God doesn't leave us... we leave Him... just tell me to turn around and look. He is right there. Love is right there, and it was there all the time.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Sunday Scribblings #270 - Sweet
This is my response to the new Sunday Scribblings prompt. It's not my usual poem or piece of fiction. Just some shared thoughts, on where I am in my life, on this particular day...
Church has always played a role in my life, whether I was attending or not. My mother told me I was baptized as an infant, but I neglected to ask where or what denomination. It was most likely in Kellogg, Idaho. It didn't really matter to me, because for as long as I can remember, I spoke to God and felt like He heard me. What I felt for my Creator was sweet, pure, and deep within me.
Mom worked nights and many Sunday mornings, but she often let me walk to a little pink church down the road. I loved Sunday School, until they started putting black marks by my name for the Sundays I missed. My final break with the pink church was when my Sunday School Teacher, and
I use the word teacher lightly here (though I did learn a lesson from her), told me that unless my mom started coming with me, she was going to burn in the fires of Hell! Then she passed around the bag for our offering. I slipped my clenched hand into my pocket, hanging on tightly to my dime. I never went back to that church. I did continue to pray to God each night though.
I'm saying all of this because I'm in an identity crisis with my faith. I've always known who I was, what I believed, and who God was to me. I had my home church, and it remained home to me even when I lived in another state. But everything has changed.
It's not so much that my church changed, though it has. It's more that I have changed. My faith has been challenged... well, actually rocked! I feel like I've been treading water, and I've never been a good swimmer so there is the constant fear of drowning. Of losing myself. So once again, I am home on a Sunday morning, and it feels strange to me. I haven't stopped praying. I still believe. I'm just standing at the metaphorical fork in the road. Neither path looks appealing. Neither calls out to me. So I'm sitting on this grassy knoll, enjoying the sun, until I'm ready to move on.
© 5Jun2011 ajj
Church has always played a role in my life, whether I was attending or not. My mother told me I was baptized as an infant, but I neglected to ask where or what denomination. It was most likely in Kellogg, Idaho. It didn't really matter to me, because for as long as I can remember, I spoke to God and felt like He heard me. What I felt for my Creator was sweet, pure, and deep within me.
Mom worked nights and many Sunday mornings, but she often let me walk to a little pink church down the road. I loved Sunday School, until they started putting black marks by my name for the Sundays I missed. My final break with the pink church was when my Sunday School Teacher, and
I use the word teacher lightly here (though I did learn a lesson from her), told me that unless my mom started coming with me, she was going to burn in the fires of Hell! Then she passed around the bag for our offering. I slipped my clenched hand into my pocket, hanging on tightly to my dime. I never went back to that church. I did continue to pray to God each night though.
I'm saying all of this because I'm in an identity crisis with my faith. I've always known who I was, what I believed, and who God was to me. I had my home church, and it remained home to me even when I lived in another state. But everything has changed.
It's not so much that my church changed, though it has. It's more that I have changed. My faith has been challenged... well, actually rocked! I feel like I've been treading water, and I've never been a good swimmer so there is the constant fear of drowning. Of losing myself. So once again, I am home on a Sunday morning, and it feels strange to me. I haven't stopped praying. I still believe. I'm just standing at the metaphorical fork in the road. Neither path looks appealing. Neither calls out to me. So I'm sitting on this grassy knoll, enjoying the sun, until I'm ready to move on.
© 5Jun2011 ajj
Friday, October 8, 2010
October!
I love October! It's been a week of cooler temperatures... perfect for me. I'm listening to Mahalia sing "I'm Gonna Live The Life I Sing About In My Song"... Love it. Makes me want to hug my Grandma... sending love heavenward... Yesterday would have been her and Grandpa's anniversary. It is my uncle and aunt's, and my cousin's... Happy Anniversary to Burt and Pat, Kent and Robin... and also to another cousin, Elverta and Bud. Celebrate your love!
My priorities have been to continue filling donation boxes and spending some quality time with my family. There is a peace in my home that was missing for a while. It came from my heart... battered, broken, frustrated, sad... the peace also comes from my heart. There is a healing power when you give over everything, and just let God's peace cover you. I miss my loved ones who are no longer with me. Maybe that's weak. Whatever... I will always miss them. Sometimes tears will come. It doesn't mean I don't know they are in a better place. It means I wish I could pick up the phone and share a moment; I wish I could have one more hug; just one more shared laugh. But, "It is well with my soul..." and I don't fear death... I did when I was a young woman, but that fell by the wayside on this journey of my life.
Autumn memories... beautiful, nostalgic, poignant... I feel them with every breath. I love my life. I love those who were, and who are, a part of it.
Blessings to you, my dear friends!
Nita Jo
copyright 10-08-10 ajj
My priorities have been to continue filling donation boxes and spending some quality time with my family. There is a peace in my home that was missing for a while. It came from my heart... battered, broken, frustrated, sad... the peace also comes from my heart. There is a healing power when you give over everything, and just let God's peace cover you. I miss my loved ones who are no longer with me. Maybe that's weak. Whatever... I will always miss them. Sometimes tears will come. It doesn't mean I don't know they are in a better place. It means I wish I could pick up the phone and share a moment; I wish I could have one more hug; just one more shared laugh. But, "It is well with my soul..." and I don't fear death... I did when I was a young woman, but that fell by the wayside on this journey of my life.
Autumn memories... beautiful, nostalgic, poignant... I feel them with every breath. I love my life. I love those who were, and who are, a part of it.
Blessings to you, my dear friends!
Nita Jo
copyright 10-08-10 ajj
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Be Still...
I've been watching a video called, "Be Still" and it really has some good thoughts. Here's the Netflix description:
In an age in which multitasking has become second nature, the idea of being "still" almost seems luxurious. Yet achieving stillness through Christian prayer is a spiritually rewarding practice that can change your life forever. In this inspirational program narrated by actor Judge Reinhold and co-directed by his wife, Amy, noted authors, ministers and educators discuss the techniques of contemplative prayer.
I have been thinking a lot about the over-stimulation of our everyday lives. Cell phones and computers are wonderful. I couldn't imagine doing without either, it's just that I realized how much they can take over. Responding to phone calls, replying to emails, updating our Facebook, our Blogs, our YouTube pages, watching our favorite programs... all good things if taken in moderation.
My heart has been crying out for silence... for a time of stillness in my day. I love the idea of contemplative prayer. Setting aside a quiet time to enter into God's presence, and then, just listen... wait on Him with no requests, no expectations; making it a time of opening yourself to what He might say to you.
Meditation has been around in many religions and cultures for centuries. As a Christian, I find that applying the concept to my prayer life enhances it.
I intend to make this part of my daily routine. I need the stillness, the release of stress, the bit of quiet solitude in the midst of a noisy world.
In an age in which multitasking has become second nature, the idea of being "still" almost seems luxurious. Yet achieving stillness through Christian prayer is a spiritually rewarding practice that can change your life forever. In this inspirational program narrated by actor Judge Reinhold and co-directed by his wife, Amy, noted authors, ministers and educators discuss the techniques of contemplative prayer.
I have been thinking a lot about the over-stimulation of our everyday lives. Cell phones and computers are wonderful. I couldn't imagine doing without either, it's just that I realized how much they can take over. Responding to phone calls, replying to emails, updating our Facebook, our Blogs, our YouTube pages, watching our favorite programs... all good things if taken in moderation.
My heart has been crying out for silence... for a time of stillness in my day. I love the idea of contemplative prayer. Setting aside a quiet time to enter into God's presence, and then, just listen... wait on Him with no requests, no expectations; making it a time of opening yourself to what He might say to you.
Meditation has been around in many religions and cultures for centuries. As a Christian, I find that applying the concept to my prayer life enhances it.
I intend to make this part of my daily routine. I need the stillness, the release of stress, the bit of quiet solitude in the midst of a noisy world.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
"Nobody can make you feel inferior
without your permission."
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Do you ever give people "permission" to make you feel a certain way? I know I have. Sometimes in the glaring "critique" of someone else's eyes or words, I've allowed myself to become inferior. So, the fault does not lie at the feet of the other person, it lies in my heart. And the word, lies, can be taken either way... to rest with me... or to deceive me.
I can't remember the exact moment I realized this truth. I do know, from that moment on, I took hold of an inner peace I'd never had before. It's as if the curtains were thrown wide open. No matter what someone else may think or feel about me, it is important to find out what I think of me.
I must have my own moral compass; that compass must be tempered by what I believe to be true. My moral compass tells me I have to be responsible to my heavenly Father. I must do my best to share His love and compassion to others; to extend His forgiveness, His strength, His word.
I am not a minister, or a teacher. I am not a Bible scholar, or a prophet. I am a believer, and as a believer I must be aware of my opportunities to touch another heart. It was a big step when I realized, I have been given control over certain deceiving emotions. With Christ dwelling in my heart, who should I feel inferior to? If I love the Lord, I must love myself as He loved me. And, in loving myself, it frees me to love others as Christ loves them.
It is a beautiful gift to recognize I do not walk alone; therefore, I can release any threads of inferiority that threaten to bring me down. I am so blessed...
Copyright November 17, 2009 ajj
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Cast All Your Cares On Him...
Well, it's 8:26 am. I've been up all night and just now getting a bit sleepy. Too many things rattling around in my heart and mind. I prayed, I watched a program I had taped earlier, I ate (always a mistake to eat in the middle of the night), I did stretching exercises to relax my muscles, and nothing worked.
Do you ever have a difficult time laying your burdens down... casting your cares... resting in the love of God? Well, I do. I have trouble relinquishing control, but if I'm honest I have to say I'm never really in control anyway. My beliefs tell me that He, God, holds all things in the palm of His hand. So, as the morning sun greets me, I am going to lay down... my troubles... my concerns... my fears.... my head on my pillow, and sleep the sweet sleep of peace... confident that God sees and knows, and He cares.
Do you ever have a difficult time laying your burdens down... casting your cares... resting in the love of God? Well, I do. I have trouble relinquishing control, but if I'm honest I have to say I'm never really in control anyway. My beliefs tell me that He, God, holds all things in the palm of His hand. So, as the morning sun greets me, I am going to lay down... my troubles... my concerns... my fears.... my head on my pillow, and sleep the sweet sleep of peace... confident that God sees and knows, and He cares.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
What I Must Do
My son marched in the Gay Pride parade last week. He marched for the rights of two of his cousins that we love dearly; he marched for the rights of some close friends; he marched for the rights of people he doesn't even know. His picture was in the local online newspaper with one of his cousins. This made me truly fearful, and I had to pray for peace. There are so many "haters" in this world. I'm not talking about people of faith who express what they believe. I'm talking about people who, sometimes in the name of faith, feel the right to maim or even murder those who are different. If "gay" is a sin, is the solution to admonish or punish with violence?
I have lived through tumultuous times in my years on this earth; civil rights, equality for women, Vietnam and other wars, abortion rights, gay rights. The one thing I know for sure is that I am not qualified to judge another. I make my decisions based on my own moral compass; by what I believe God has asked of me. I feel I have a charge, a mission, for my life; to serve God the best way I can, to bless my family with love and care, to be a peacemaker, to love the unloved and even the unlovely, to share my heart and the Christ in me.
My son told me of two different groups who were also at the Gay Pride Parade. Each was a church group. One waved signs of opposition and shouted angrily. The other church group handed out bottles of water and smiles. Guess which group touched the hearts of the marchers.
My salvation was earned with Christ's sacrifice. In my life, I know I've had areas of sin. The grace and mercy of God was given freely to me. How can I not honor that gift and extend it to others? By dealing with grace and mercy, I hope I can touch hearts. To those who do not know God, I hope I can show how real He is to me. To those who know God, their walk with Him is a personal journey. I am not qualified to sit in judgement. I am qualified to share the blessing of God's love, so that's what I must do.
I have lived through tumultuous times in my years on this earth; civil rights, equality for women, Vietnam and other wars, abortion rights, gay rights. The one thing I know for sure is that I am not qualified to judge another. I make my decisions based on my own moral compass; by what I believe God has asked of me. I feel I have a charge, a mission, for my life; to serve God the best way I can, to bless my family with love and care, to be a peacemaker, to love the unloved and even the unlovely, to share my heart and the Christ in me.
My son told me of two different groups who were also at the Gay Pride Parade. Each was a church group. One waved signs of opposition and shouted angrily. The other church group handed out bottles of water and smiles. Guess which group touched the hearts of the marchers.
My salvation was earned with Christ's sacrifice. In my life, I know I've had areas of sin. The grace and mercy of God was given freely to me. How can I not honor that gift and extend it to others? By dealing with grace and mercy, I hope I can touch hearts. To those who do not know God, I hope I can show how real He is to me. To those who know God, their walk with Him is a personal journey. I am not qualified to sit in judgement. I am qualified to share the blessing of God's love, so that's what I must do.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Faith over Fear
In honor of Faith and of Angels, I am posting these two Free Images for you to copy. If you click on the image, it should enlarge so you can save it to your files. I know one says Easter Greeting, but she was so cute I didn't want to leave her out. 
I've just been thinking about how blessed I am. No matter what the trial, I feel like angels are watching over me. That's not to say I have an easy life, it's just that my faith keeps me on f
irm footing.
I want to be resilient when fear tries to wash over me. It's work for me to look at the glass as half full... I'm naturally geared to seeing the worst case scenario and trying to imagine how I could get myself out of that one. For example, I saw a little boy on the news today. He was from Tennessee and had been attacked by a bear during a family camping trip. I knew exactly how he felt when he said something along the line of, "I told my dad a bear would get us." Then he kind of rolled his eyes up toward dad like "I told you so." It made me smile. I hope the experience doen't cause him to carry fear with him, but that surviving it will give him strength and faith.
I'm the "girl" who was always afraid of the dark, wild animals, boogie men, etc. Lions and Tigers and Bears.... Oh MY! I was really afraid of the flying monkees and the wicked witch! I just knew at any given moment I could be killed in a car, my plane would crash, I'd be robbed, my house would burn down (in my own defense, I had many near misses which may have fed the fear... I may share one or two on another day).
Sometimes I was right to be afraid, but to be wary doesn't mean to live in the fear. Even as an adult, I often have to "have a talk" with myself. "Have faith... don't be so negative... pray... believe... hope... and have peace". I doubt I'm the only one out there. So to all you "half empties"...
Take Peace, Hold Hope In Your Heart, Trust God, Have Faith...
Blessings,
Nita Jo
irm footing.I want to be resilient when fear tries to wash over me. It's work for me to look at the glass as half full... I'm naturally geared to seeing the worst case scenario and trying to imagine how I could get myself out of that one. For example, I saw a little boy on the news today. He was from Tennessee and had been attacked by a bear during a family camping trip. I knew exactly how he felt when he said something along the line of, "I told my dad a bear would get us." Then he kind of rolled his eyes up toward dad like "I told you so." It made me smile. I hope the experience doen't cause him to carry fear with him, but that surviving it will give him strength and faith.
I'm the "girl" who was always afraid of the dark, wild animals, boogie men, etc. Lions and Tigers and Bears.... Oh MY! I was really afraid of the flying monkees and the wicked witch! I just knew at any given moment I could be killed in a car, my plane would crash, I'd be robbed, my house would burn down (in my own defense, I had many near misses which may have fed the fear... I may share one or two on another day).
Sometimes I was right to be afraid, but to be wary doesn't mean to live in the fear. Even as an adult, I often have to "have a talk" with myself. "Have faith... don't be so negative... pray... believe... hope... and have peace". I doubt I'm the only one out there. So to all you "half empties"...
Take Peace, Hold Hope In Your Heart, Trust God, Have Faith...
Blessings,
Nita Jo
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Life is Grand!
Another Sunday at home. This will be five in a row. Finally, feeling a small improvement today.
During her break my niece came home, and we had our own little church service. She played guitar and sang choruses, then switched to the piano. It was a nice time of song, prayer, and meditation on what God has done for me. I am so blessed. Life isn't easy, but who said it would be. It's not easy, but it's good!
I'm enjoying waiting for the ducklings to hatch out. I have had to run a neighbor cat off several times, but so far there are still 13 eggs intact. There are also baby birds in my little birdhouse. It sits just a few feet from the duck's nest. They've been chirping a lot, which may be why the cat is so interested in my garden this year! I just hope I don't have to experience some "graphic nature" in my own front yard!
Today's Quote:
During her break my niece came home, and we had our own little church service. She played guitar and sang choruses, then switched to the piano. It was a nice time of song, prayer, and meditation on what God has done for me. I am so blessed. Life isn't easy, but who said it would be. It's not easy, but it's good!
I'm enjoying waiting for the ducklings to hatch out. I have had to run a neighbor cat off several times, but so far there are still 13 eggs intact. There are also baby birds in my little birdhouse. It sits just a few feet from the duck's nest. They've been chirping a lot, which may be why the cat is so interested in my garden this year! I just hope I don't have to experience some "graphic nature" in my own front yard!
Today's Quote:
"Just to be alive is a grand thing." - Agatha Christie
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