Thursday, January 21, 2016

Daydreams...

There was a time, a long while back, when I dreamed of living on an acreage with plenty of space. Far from people, filled with animals of all kinds. Maybe a log home or an old two story farmhouse with a big red barn. I would have a huge room with a grand piano and floor to ceiling bookshelves...

These days I dream of a Paris or New York apartment with all the amenities or a little cottage near the Oregon Coast. The dream mainly requires I must be close to restaurants and shops, especially cozy book stores.  I will have at least one cat and maybe a little dog.

I'll wear hats. I've never worn hats much, because I was told I didn't have the head for them. Maybe I don't, but why should that stop me? I'll wear expensive perfume and silky scarves, but I won't wear make-up ever, unless the mood should strike. I'll say exactly what I think, without feeling like I must apologize for my opinion. I will stop wondering why this old friend, or that other one, never calls anymore. My address and phone books will reflect those who maintain connections. All a person really needs is the love and friendship of a few true friends, and the love of their life partner and children, of course.

I'll write my truth. In writing it, I'll try to be kind, but even if the truth is unkind it may have to be written. I saw a quote somewhere... if you didn't want it written about you, you should have behaved better... something to that effect. Oh my, the things which could be written about me. Things which may well be cruel, seen in print. I have to remember every truth is tempered by circumstance, what we knew then, what was the trigger, and how we addressed it or changed from it.

So, the dreams... new location; simpler life; be myself; hold those who love me close, and let the rest go; be honest, tempered with kindness; accept my truths and my failings, but don't linger there; read; write; and pets... yes, I must have pets!

© 21Jan2016 ajj

2 comments:

Sally said...

This:

"Things which may well be cruel, seen in print. I have to remember every truth is tempered by circumstance, what we knew then, what was the trigger, and how we addressed it or changed from it."

Nita Jo - I've been needing to hear something like this for many, many years. Yes, we have to remember the circumstances, the triggers. Of course, and I've tried to "come up" with a way of saying these very things, but you did with such honesty and truth.

Thank you, thank you!
xoxo


Nita Jo said...

Sally, thank you so much for your comment! I always hope the things I write will touch others in some way. I wish I'd learned to be true to myself years ago, though better late than never at all! :)