It's late and I should be sleeping, but my head is all tangled up with thoughts. I am turning 54 later on this fall. My life is more than half over, unless I live to be the very stately age of 108 or beyond. This fact doesn't frighten me. It does make me curious though... have I accomplished the life goals that are most important to me? I've done the best I knew in raising my boys, and in dealing with family relationships and situations. When I was able to work outside the home, I worked hard and I loved it. I've served God as I understood serving. I hope I have honored Him. I am still a work in progress and continue to reach for higher knowledge in my spiritual life.
The areas I'm not content with are my life goals... being published, writing songs, creating art, being physically strong and active. It seems there is never enough time in the day. I have boxes of lovely crafty items and paints, etc. I kept copies of articles I wrote for my church's newsletter for several years, because I had plans to compile them into a small book. I have beginnings of four books... none close to being finished. Rough drafts and incomplete short stories and poems. I had songs... I tore up most and tossed them during the past ten years. I am my own harshest critic.
What am I trying to say? I don't have a clue! I guess it's that more than half over, is not over! There is still time! I can't allow myself just to give in or to give up. That's it! I must keep reminding myself that my life is a journey. Until it officially ends, I have no business living like it has ended. God expects more of me than that. I expect more of me than that too. So, that being said, on with the living!
Copyright 09/29/10 ajj