I have been so undisciplined in my writing. That does not work, if you have dreams of ever being published. I've written some short stories and poems, started a couple of books still waiting to be finished, and there's also this blog, which I've seriously neglected. Saturday, I decided I needed to make a daily writing commitment, so I started a memory journal. Each day, I'm adding whatever memory happens to surface at that moment, in no particular order. It's an exercise in writing, and I'm hoping this daily work will open up my mind and rid me of the writer's block I've had.
My head has always been filled with stories I've wanted to write and share. Something always stops me. For years I told myself I'd write when life was less busy, when the kids were in school, then when they were grown, when I felt better, when the moment was right, one "good reason" after another. When I was young, it was insecurity about my abilities, or the worry that what I chose to write about would disappoint my family and friends. I felt I should be writing faith-based material, when what I was seeing in my mind were these crazy stories. I let myself be trapped by what I perceived to be others expectations.
I tested the water a few years ago with some poetry I considered "dipping my toes" into some of the things that haunt my thoughts. There were a couple of "I love it" and "It was very dark, but good" but mostly there was silence. I took the silence as a negative critique. I allowed it to redirect me, and subsequently the writing eventually stopped.
When I looked into the mirror Saturday afternoon, at the older woman looking back at me, I realized I'd put my dreams on hold for too long. I'm calling for my "muse" to come back. I'm exploring the idea it is still not too late. The writing exercises have begun, and we shall see where this leads.
Wishing you a beautiful day...
© 04MAR2013 ajjahner