Monday, May 5, 2014

An Unmade Memory...

Since my last post, I've become acutely aware of the passage of time. It sneaks up beside us, races quickly on, and before we know it, life has changed in so many ways.

On the 16th of April, my 49 year old cousin, Kristin, passed away in her sleep. It was shocking. It was too soon. It was heartbreaking. At the memorial service, her little brother looked at me and said something to the effect of "Last time we were together, we promised next time would be for something fun, but here we are..." The most recent event, where many of the cousins had seen each other, was at grandma's memorial service in 2010. Every one of us intended to make more time for one another, but life has a way of interfering with the best of intentions.

It was both wonderful and agonizing to see so many family members. We shared a lot of tears. We shared some moments of joy. Memories permeated the room like strong incense, pleasing yet making it difficult to breath. I'm still finding it hard to breath, as I write this. Oh, for one more moment to chat with Kristin. To see that smile and hear her laughter. I have to be satisfied with knowing she is in the arms of a Heavenly Father, and is with so many who love her, who made the journey before she did. And there is some peace in it, but the peace doesn't erase the wish in my heart, that I had made even a small window of time for one more conversation shared over cup of tea, to have created a moment spent together, however brief. It's the regret of an unmade memory.

Grandma Martha and Kristin...
What we never regret are the times we have spent together. The photo above captured one of those special times. I took this picture of my grandma and my cousin. It was a such happy day. Grandma was thrilled to have some of her grand-kids visiting, and we were enjoying it just as much as she did. Their smiles say it all, and this precious moment lives as a treasured "made" memory.

© 05May2014 ajj


5 comments:

Donna said...

Oh Nita!!!!!! Oh....how sad! She was beautiful! I'm SO sorry sweetheart!!!
Bless your Heart!
(((((HUG)))))

Donna said...

I am so very sorry for the passing of your cousin. She left this earth much too soon! Beautiful gal and your grandma too. I can attest to how time is so fleeting. And encourage everyone to do what they want to do, and say what needs to be said before time runs out. May God comfort you in your grief.

Nita Jo said...

I appreciate your comments. I haven't been checking back on my blog very well these days. God gets us through the darkest hours! I don't know h ow people cope without the love and comfort of God in their lives. Thank you both for your love and concern!

Sally said...

Losing anyone is so difficult of course, but you know besides our siblings (if we have them) our cousins become some of our first and best friends. I can relate to you in your feelings, Nita Jo. God bless you and all who knew that beautiful being who is now in the arms of our Father.

((hugs))

Nita Jo said...

Thank you Sally! I really appreciate your kind words.