Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Special Little Snowflake...

Am I a special or unique...
  1. 1.
    a flake of snow, especially a feathery ice crystal, typically displaying delicate sixfold symmetry.
  2. 2.
    a white-flowered Eurasian plant related to and resembling the snowdrop, typically blooming in the summer or autumn.

Or just simply a...
  1. 1.
    a small, flat, thin piece of something, typically one that has broken away or been peeled off from a larger piece.

  2. 2.
    NORTH AMERICANinformal
    a crazy or eccentric person.
    synonyms: ditz, space cadet, airhead, fool, scatterbrain.
    "Geoff can be such a flake."

Snowflake or flake, read on and decide for yourself! 

The BlogHer Prompt for today:

"Do you get nervous in social situations? How do you power through that anxiety?

Hmmm, how to answer that? I definitely have a high level of social anxiety. The results vary from butterflies in my stomach to outright sickness. Clammy hands, sweaty brow, dry mouth, etc. More than once, I've had to excuse myself because I got so ill. This usually happens once I'm at a social gathering or event, but I've also had it happen while preparing to attend the event. This has occurred for things I love, like baby and bridal showers, weddings, family parties, concerts, church services, trips, etc. This has increased in intensity over the years.

I don't always power through, which can have a huge impact on my relationships. I find it easier to deal with the feelings of nausea, or outright sickness, in the security of my own home. People don't always understand why they receive a last minute cancellation from me, or why I leave shortly after arriving. The times I have powered through were usually much more enjoyable and rewarding than I imagined they could be. When the anxiety begins to wash over me, I try deep breathing, sitting quietly for a moment, saying a prayer, and visualizing a positive experience. Often, if I can get past the initial wave of terror, I find the demons quiet down and I'm able to enjoy the event, though this isn't always true. 

It's frustrating to be so affected by social situations. I'd love to figure out what my "trigger button" is and then to disable it. As my oldest son often tells me, "You're a special little snowflake" and that I am! Maybe not so special or unique, but some kind of a flake for certain! 

© 19Jul2016 ajj

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