Pushing Through the Pain...

It's been a while since I shared much about my journey with MS.  The last three weeks have been very difficult physically.  I had to swallow my pride and have my husband put my walker back in the car, in order for me to even leave the house.  It's been a long time since I had to use a walker.  The timing has been difficult, because we've been on the countdown toward my youngest son leaving the nest.  Move-in day at college is this Saturday!  I had plans for joyful shopping trips and last minute fun moments together, but this recent attack on my body made it nearly impossible.  A few days ago, I had to be placed on a heart monitor for 24 hours, and they took an ultrasound of my heart... no results yet, though I'm fairly certain they will decide it was something called an MS "hug" that I was experiencing.  They increased my pain medication, added steroids and muscle relaxants...  The results were that my face and neck swelled up night before last, and I woke in the wee hours of the morning fighting for air.  This is apparently from the steroids.  I'm feeling much more myself today, although I will still be using my walker and/or canes for the time being.

When I'm tempted to let the "dark days" take over, I have to remind myself how blessed I am.

~ I have family and friends who love me, and pray for me.
~ I'm still able to do many things I love.
~ There are those much worse off than I am.
~ I'm one of the fortunate ones with a good health insurance.

I have a faith that sustains me, even on days when I just want to sit and cry like a small child.  When those days come, and they do, I can find my way out of the darkness because of that faith.

It also helps to read about what others are facing in their lives, and how they deal with it.  I've shared many times about Baby Gabe, and his journey.  Here is a link to an uplifting blog I just discovered.  The writer is Jenn, and she shares about Gabe's birthday balloon release, and about her own journey with an invisible illness.  I think it will bless you, it certainly blessed me...  Her blog is called Chasing Joy.  Then, take just a moment to read Julia's Happy Birthday post for little Gabe, here at The Four of Us.  It is beautiful!

Well, my youngest just walked into the house... time to get busy on that list of things we want to fit into the next two days!  Wishing you a day filled with love and simple joys...






 

A Final Post for My Little Cousin, Gabe

This week, Gabriel's family will be celebrating his life.  His first birthday would have been Tuesday, and the family and friends will gather at a local park to release balloons in Gabe's honor.

Julia's most recent posts, at The Four of Us, are heartbreaking and beautiful.  If you click on the blog name, it will take you there.  It's a touching look at a mother's faith, love, and saying goodbye to her little one.

Here is the Face Book page Hope For Gabriel's Heart, and if you want to donate anything toward his funeral costs or medical expenses, see the link on my sidebar with his photo.  If you are unable to donate monetarily, I just ask that you continue to hold this family, especially Julia and Nick, in your prayers, and please say a special prayer for his big brother, Judah...

The story of little Gabriel's life is a blessing, a testament to faith.  We wished for a much longer life for him, here on this earth, but his family's faith tells them he is safe in the arms of a loving Heavenly Father.  Even in heartbreak, there is hope and peace.

Update...  Nick and Julia let us know that Gabe passed into the arms of his Heavenly Father at 8:58 EST.  They were there holding him, surrounded by nurses and doctors who also loved their sweet little boy.  They know he is in loving arms, but pray for continued peace as they move forward...

Please Pray...

Many of you know the story of baby Gabriel.  Things seem to have turned for the worst, but we're still hoping and praying.

Here is a video prayer by his daddy from yesterday:  Prayer for Gabe.
The following is a copy of the latest post...


Gabe's white bloodcell count has continued to rise. It is now at 22 and still getting higher. We will check it at 8pm, and if it has not improved we will hold Gabe off of the ventilator and say our sweet, painful goodbyes.

No parent should ever have to lose a child. The most surreal and strange feeling in the world. We are in so much pain but so thankful at the same time for all that Gabe has done for our family and our world.

Still hoping, but it doesn't look good at this point. Please continue to pray. Thank you for your love and support during this time.

There are no words to say except... please say a prayer for baby Gabe and his parents, Nick and Julia.

A Request...

I'm skipping a poem for today.  I wanted to ask for some special prayers this week.  Tomorrow Gabriel goes in for a very important surgery.  The doctor will be building him a full heart or doing something called a Fontan procedure.  The full heart is what we're hoping for.  You may have seen the link on my sidebar, but if not, this is Gabe:

I encourage you to go to his mother's blog.  She wrote the most beautiful letter to him.  You can find it at The Four of Us, click on the title...  "If I Never See You On Earth Again".

It will touch you, I promise.  It make break your heart a little bit.  I know it will make you want to pray for a miracle for sweet Gabriel.  Please read it... Please Pray...

A Leap Day Post...

It's a rare opportunity to post on Leap Day.  This is also the last day of the NaBloPoMo Challenge, Relative.  I want to take this moment to say how fortunate and blessed I am.  My family is everything to me!  It's filled with imperfect people, but people with tremendous love and faith. 

A favorite of mine... My boys fishing with Grandpa Pete - May of 2000

For the past three weeks, our hearts have been on a roller coaster.  My father-in-law was found in his home unconscious.  He'd apparently been very ill.  When I'd last talked with him, he had a bit of a cough but was getting over it.  We made a quick trip to his hometown and spent the week.  PJ and his sister spent hours at the hospital.  He seemed to be recovering.  We decided to come home so my husband (PJ) could get back to work.  PJ has been back twice, and is there today.  After a great improvement, where dad was talking and even joking, PJ had returned home. The next day his dad's heart stopped.  They revived him, but he has not been well since.  It is such a difficult and heartbreaking time for my husband and my sister-in-law.  We have not given up hope for his recovery, but it looks like a long and difficult road. 

We do believe in miracles, and we also have the belief that things work out the way they are intended to.  It's all in the hands of our Heavenly Father.  We are hoping and praying for the best...

Speaking of miracles, before I stop for today, I have to share this blog link.  I think it will bless you!

The Four of Us: Happy Six Month Birthday Gabriel!

Just click on the highlighted blog name to read all about little Gabe.  He is my 4th cousin, if I remember how those "cousin" things work.  That doesn't really matter, he is family, he is a miracle, and so loved!

As I wrap up this final post for the month,
Remember to treasure your family and hold them close,
in your arms if you can, and if not... in your heart...

Day 20 - Beginnings, Baby Gabriel

On August 28 of last year, Baby Gabriel arrived.  While still inside his mother, doctors discovered a challenge.  Gabe was diagnosed with HLHS, Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, a severe congenital heart defect.  An additional challenge of Downs Syndrome was verified after his birth.

I don't want to go into all the details of little Gabe's life so far, but I'd love for you to meet his mom, Julia, at her blog.  It's called The Four Of Us.  I'd also love for you to meet his dad, Nick, at Gabriel's Hope.  They are two incredible people.  Gabriel is their second child.  He has a big brother, Judah.  Every day, Nick and Julia pour their love out over their two little guys.  They pray with them and over them.  They continue to have faith and hope as they walk this journey together.  It's a road that might seem impossible to some, but one they welcome, because it is the road they get to travel with their boys. 

If you have means to help financially, there are two donation links on my sidebar.  One is a fundraiser with items for sale.  The other is for direct donation.  Even more important, if you are a praying person, pray for this family.  Pray for God's hand of healing over this little one... little Gabriel. 

More Watching and Waiting...

My last post was about needing hope and courage in the face of life's storms.  While I continue to battle the waves of my own storm, there are so many others out there also trying to stay afloat. 

If you have an extra moment today, say a prayer for Gabriel's Heart.  You can read about baby Gabriel and his family Here.  Pray for his sweet momma too, for strength and for continued peace.