Some thoughts and a short poem...

I have not lived up to my bargain to post every day this month.  It's been a crazy, sad, busy time for my family.  Dealing with the loss of a loved one takes a lot out of you.  My husband and I just returned from a trip to his father's home.  We met his sister and her friend there, and we spent a hectic weekend sorting through years of accumulation.  There was, and still is, a lot of stuff.  The one nice thing is, it was very organized.  We donated and recycled what we could, but two pick-up loads still went to the landfill.  Some precious treasures went home with my sister-in-law and with us.  There is still a lot to do, but it's mostly cleaning, small repairs, and painting in preparation to possibly sell the home one day.  There is no rush on that.

Every room in the house was filled with memories, as was the yard and the garden.  It was like whispers, too quiet to hear, but definitely all around.  Poignant, palpable, precious....

Silent rooms and
walls with dusty photographs
Paintings created, hung with loving hands

A chair, a throw,
favorite jacket in the hall
Symbols of the life they once enveloped

Quiet whispers
of voices no longer heard
but hanging in the air, just beyond reach

Memories linking
hearts to hearts, throughout time
Unbroken chain of life continues on

© 17APR2012 ajjahner

A Sweet and Sad Farewell...

Today was the funeral service for my father-in-law.  This was such a difficult day, especially for my husband, his sister, and my sons.  He was a WWII Veteran, so has been buried at the Idaho State Veterans Cemetery.  It was pouring rain, but we got a brief reprieve right about the time we needed the casket moved to the Committal Pavilion, a covered area where the service was held.

As we drove up the hill toward the Pavilion, I saw the soldiers standing at attention.  That meant so much to us.  I had never been to a military funeral and didn't know what to expect.  It does go very quickly, because they have services every hour.  It's handled with dignity, precision, and respect, from the moment you arrive until Taps is played.

My husband and sons were pallbearers.  Even though it's just a short movement of the casket, from vehicle to a transport cart, I was so proud to see my boys do this for their grandpa, and my husband for his dad.  One final act of love and respect for their grandpa, and of my husband for his father.  It's heartbreaking to say farewell, but we believe he was welcomed home by those he loved, those who had made the journey before him.  We will miss him.

I'll be absent for a bit...

My father-in-law passed away earlier today.  I may share about him another day, but today is too soon.  I'll just leave you with a couple of favorite photos...

Fishing with Grandpa PJ

With Grandpa PJ at the Oregon Trail Interpretive Center - 1998

Our Lucky 13, EJ with Grandpa PJ

MJ and Grandpa

We have some beautiful memories... We'll miss him so much...

This, That, and The Other

Why I've been absent...
My writing for NaBloPoMo is lagging this month.  It's not for lack of desire, but due to family circumstances.  My dad-in-law is still in serious condition, and our hearts and minds are consumed with it all.  The uncertainly of it falls into the category Whether, as decisions are made regarding his care.  I appreciate those of you who continue to remember him in your prayers.

Now on to the writing... 
I just read a post about the love of writing, and how to get started.
Here is my new favorite quote... 

"It begins with words." 

Christy Woolum

Christy writes about how she gets her students started writing.  I'm not going to share her secrets.  I am just going to encourage you to read her post at Learning By Heart.

On to other things...

I recently blogged about an amazing giveaway, hosted by Debra at Common Ground.  It was for a gift certificate to the Etsy Shop English Transferware.  This shop is run by Nancy of Nancy's Daily Dish.  I won the giveaway!  If you're not familiar with transferware, here is a photo with some examples:

This image is owned by Nancy, of Nancy's Daily Dish.

There are so many beautiful pieces of transferware, that I'm having a difficult time making a decision.  If you haven't visited Debra or Nancy, take a few minutes to have a look at their beautiful blogs.  You won't be sorry.

And Other Stuff...

Earlier this month, I was given a blog award by Andrea of From the Sol.  I had decided to make my blog Award Free recently, but I'm making an exception because I thought the questions and random facts were fun!  Andrea is a new blogger, and I am really enjoying From The Sol.  I want to encourage all of my friends to visit her!  She has some beautiful photography and is such a warm, friendly person.  Here is the award information:

 The Rules:
1. Thank & link back to the person who gave you the award.
2. Answer the form questions below.
3. Share ten random facts / thoughts about yourself.
4. Nominate (at least) 7 other blogs for the Kreativ Blogger Award.


I want to sincerely thank Andrea of From the Sol for honoring me with this award.  Andrea, it is a joy getting to know you, and I'm so happy you have become one of my blogging friends!


My Answers to the Questions...

1. Favorite Song: I can't say I have one favorite. I love all kinds of music. A few favorites... Amazing Grace, Somewhere Over The Rainbow (Eva Cassidy), Dream (Priscilla Ahn), Both Sides Now, Forever Young... there are just too many to list.
2. Favorite Dessert: Gooseberry Pie... followed very closely by Rhubarb Pie and Cheesecake!
3. What Ticks Me Off: Liars! I hate deceit.
4. If I am upset: I find it best to retreat to a quiet place until I feel calm... I did say that was best, sometimes I just cry all over the place. I do try to keep the crying and moaning to a minimum. Lol!
5. Favorite Pet: I have loved many, but my favorite cat was Tomasina, a beautiful Calico I had while growing up. She was so gentle. She let me dress her in doll clothes and carry her around. She brought me field mice she'd caught... ewwwie! She “talked” to me, and I loved her!
6. Black or White: If referring to clothing, I generally lean more toward black. In décor, I like a bit of both, with lots of other accent colors.
7. Biggest Fear: That my husband or my boys will be hurt. That my MS disability will get so bad, that I become only a burden to my family.
8. Everyday Attitude: It changes like the weather. I do have the ability to bounce back from hard times, and I have faith that things happen for a reason. I believe that all people have some good in them, even when it isn't always visible.
9. What is perfection: Life, with all it's uncertainty.
10. Guilty Pleasures: Chocolate, Coffee, A good book, or movie, Pinterest, FaceBook's Words with Friends, and blogging... when I should be cleaning.

Here are my 10 Random Facts... and they are really random...

1. I love my family. My husband is my best friend. My sons are amazing, kind human beings. I am very blessed!
2. I'm a writer. That's not an easy thing for me to say. I've often put too many rules and/or restrictions on myself... not good enough, not educated enough, not published. I write because it's part of who I am. I need to write, whether anyone else ever reads it or not. I am a writer.
3. Music is part of me. I can't imagine a world without beautiful music.
4. I am a very spiritual person, and I believe in premonitions, intuition, second sight... whatever you want to call it.
5. I both love and fear animals.
6. I'm funny when I don't mean to be, and if I try to tell a joke, it falls flat.
7. An organized house is my dream, but I seem to lack the necessary skills or concentration to make it happen.
8. I'm fascinated by family history.
9. I worry about offending people... maybe that stems from a need to be liked.
10. Making a list like this is hard, because I worry that I've put the wrong answers, left something out, said too much, offended someone, sounded lame/stupid/delusional/or any of a million other things that are just wrong. Oh, did I mention, I obsess too much?

I had a difficult time deciding who to give this award to.  There are so many blogs I love and read on a regular basis.  Here are 7 that I know you will enjoy visiting.  I will just say, I won't be hurt... not even a tiny bit, if any of you choose not to participate.  I know many blogs have chosen to be award free, as I have... with this exception.  So, that said, I would love to pass this award on to... in alphabetical order:

Carol at Silver Valley Stories
Christy at Learning by Heart
Donna at Cottage Days and Journeys
Donna at Made in Heaven
Gail at Shabby Cottage Studio
Lana at Honeysuckle Lane
Mary at Scottish Nanna








I want to wish each of you a beautiful day!

A Leap Day Post...

It's a rare opportunity to post on Leap Day.  This is also the last day of the NaBloPoMo Challenge, Relative.  I want to take this moment to say how fortunate and blessed I am.  My family is everything to me!  It's filled with imperfect people, but people with tremendous love and faith. 

A favorite of mine... My boys fishing with Grandpa Pete - May of 2000

For the past three weeks, our hearts have been on a roller coaster.  My father-in-law was found in his home unconscious.  He'd apparently been very ill.  When I'd last talked with him, he had a bit of a cough but was getting over it.  We made a quick trip to his hometown and spent the week.  PJ and his sister spent hours at the hospital.  He seemed to be recovering.  We decided to come home so my husband (PJ) could get back to work.  PJ has been back twice, and is there today.  After a great improvement, where dad was talking and even joking, PJ had returned home. The next day his dad's heart stopped.  They revived him, but he has not been well since.  It is such a difficult and heartbreaking time for my husband and my sister-in-law.  We have not given up hope for his recovery, but it looks like a long and difficult road. 

We do believe in miracles, and we also have the belief that things work out the way they are intended to.  It's all in the hands of our Heavenly Father.  We are hoping and praying for the best...

Speaking of miracles, before I stop for today, I have to share this blog link.  I think it will bless you!

The Four of Us: Happy Six Month Birthday Gabriel!

Just click on the highlighted blog name to read all about little Gabe.  He is my 4th cousin, if I remember how those "cousin" things work.  That doesn't really matter, he is family, he is a miracle, and so loved!

As I wrap up this final post for the month,
Remember to treasure your family and hold them close,
in your arms if you can, and if not... in your heart...

Thinking of Dads...

I haven't done very well with this months NaBloPoMo.  The theme this month is Relative.  Sadly, my reasons are family related.  My father-in-law is still in the hospital.  It's been 13 days now.  My husband has made two trips to see him, and plans to go again soon.  He and his sister are trying to coordinate visits.  It's a really difficult thing to be so far away. 

Today is also my dad's birthday.  He's been gone for many years, but I always think of him on his birthday.  I still miss him.  Sending "Happy Birthday" wishes heavenward!  If your dad is still around, give him a phone call or a great big hug today...

Just A Simple Note...

My mind is on my father-in-law today.  He is improving, but very slowly.  My husband will be on the road tomorrow, to go see him again.

Did you ever have one of those "wake up calls" to make you reassess something?  This was another one of those for me.  My family needs to make time to spend with him.  Days, then weeks, go by so quickly.  Before you realize, it's been way too long since we've visited.  I had been trying to phone him more.  Somewhere between his birthday and Christmas, I'd taken the time to write him a long letter, one of thanks for all he has meant to me over the years.  It was long overdue.  I'm not great about thank you notes.  It wasn't something we did in my family.  I said "thank you" many times, but there is something more concrete about writing it, slipping it into an envelope, affixing a stamp, and mailing it.  I believe it meant something to him too.  I noticed an increase in phone calls from him.  A lighter, brighter tone to his voice. 


We all long to be appreciated.  To have our efforts noticed.  I wish I hadn't waited so long to put it in writing, but I'm very glad I did get it done.  It felt great doing it, and I'm thinking it brightened his day.  Now I'm wondering, who else is long overdue for some words of appreciation from me? I'm sure there are more than a couple.  I'll have to be working on that.  Until then, for all you have done, let me just say...

Long Week...

We left town very quickly last Thursday, after learning my father-in-law had been found unconscious.  He was in very bad shape, in fact the first phone information was that he had passed.  Thankfully when the EMT arrived and moved him, they discovered a very faint pulse.  We drove over, and my sister-in-law caught the first flight available.  The drive seemed to take days.  I guess that's normal when you don't know what you'll find when you arrive.  We were just praying he would still be alive.

Over the next few days, it was back and forth.  A couple of the doctors and staff were so negative, advising to prepare for the worst. One kept asking, "Is he always like this?"  Really?  My husband wanted to say, "Well no, he isn't generally unconscious." but he refrained.  Usually Pete is very active.  Takes care of himself, his home, his garden, visits with friends and occasionally goes to dinners at his church.  He drives to the grocery and to appointments.  He is very conscientious about his health.  He eats right, keeps his weight down, exercises.  I should take a page from his book!

It was such a joy and relief when he started to speak, and we knew he recognized us.  Very quickly we could see he still had his sense of humor.  It may be a long road to recovery, but he seems to be well on his way.  We will be making frequent trips over.  We did a lot of cleaning and organizing for him.  Some repairs and upgrades will need to be done to make it easier for him when he comes home.  For now, we are grateful that he is doing so much better and that he got the second chance we prayed for. 

Family Emergency

I will be away from my computer for a couple days, so won't be able to do my daily posting for NaBloPoMo.  Please check back.

We've had a family emergency.  If you are a praying person, please whisper a prayer for us and for my father-in-law.

Thanks so much...

My boys with their Grandpa...

I'm Back...

I've been online a few times, but just hadn't taken the time to get back to blogging.  Still working out computer issues, as always.  We went to visit my father-in-law.  I hadn't been over in four years, and it was nice to be able to travel again.  I did really well on the trip.  Didn't even have to take much pain medication.

Today I'm waiting on CAT Scan results.  Had to have two of them done last Thursday.  Most of you know how claustrophobic I am, so when they said they'd have to bind my arms for the second scan, I could feel the panic rising.  The scans were four hours apart, so I took an extra Xanax for the second one, prayed a lot, and practiced visualizing happy things.  I did just fine with it, but was pretty groggy from the Xanax well into the next day.

Anybody else out there with "space" issues?  I do not like small, confined spaces... MRI machines, elevators, tiny rooms with only one exit (this is why I won't see movies at the historic Flicks movie theatres anymore)...

I was able to get out to church yesterday.  It was a great service, and was just what I needed.  It is always good to look outside yourself and your circumstances.  Perspective.  Positive attitude...

These are definitely things I needed this past couple of days.  We made the mistake of co-signing for an apartment rental for someone.  They didn't default, but the roommate did.  Although we were told my husband was only signing for one, the fine print legally tied him to the roommates debt.  After a large hit to our credit card (which we have been trying so hard to pay down) and many tears of frustration, we can say "lesson learned" and try to move on.  We hope at some point the young lady will pay us back.

Happy news!  My youngest sis is coming to visit for a few days, first at my home and then over to her mom's.  It's been about four years since she's been here.  I am so excited to see her!  I'm trying to think of what all we can squeeze into the two days that she's staying with me.  We have so much to catch up on!

Well, I know this was a long, long post... just so much on my mind today.
I hope you're all enjoying the wonderful autumn weather like I am! 

Blessings!
Nita Jo

Update:  In case anyone "guessed" the identity of the young lady we covered the debt for.  There were extenuating circumstances, landlord difficulties, etc.  Also, once she learned what we'd done, she immediately made plans to pay us back.  Awesome young woman!